Memories in Blood
by HawkRider
Summary: Roxas has a terrible life filled with death and abuse. His past is none the better. But when an unwanted move forces him into his unknown future, what surprises lie in wait for him? AkuRoku, RikuSo, Terentus, OC/Vanitas.
1. Prolouge

**My first none drabble AkuRoku. I hope you enjoy. And I hope that you shed a tear at at least one point in the fic.**

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><p><em>There he was, looking down on me. Looming over me like a shadow. He brought his hand to my cheek and I flinched away. He stroked it, then smashed his lips into mine, not caring if I wanted it or not. He then pulled down his trousers, stepping out of them, then his underwear...<em>

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><p>I sat up in bed, panting and dripping with sweat. That nightmare plagued me every time I slept. I couldn't escape it. I reached under my bed. The memories were too terrible. I grabbed my knife, pulled off my wristbands, and started to cut.<p>

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><p><strong>It's a drabble prologue because I couldn't think of anything extra to add in. Chapter 1 will be up soon.<strong>


	2. Murder

**Told you it would be up soon. So now, here we go!**

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><p>Another boring day ahead. While Sora would 'hang out' with Donald and Goofy, and Ventus with Lea, Isa and Ienzo, Isaac would stay home and read, probably. Well, that's what he claimed to do anyway. He was mostly here to keep an eye on me, and trying to keep me away from my knife. And forcing food down my throat. I looked at my clock. Four am. A Friday. <em>So what if it was a school day? It wouldn't be much different anyway. <em>I thought. _I'd still be on my own. And I won't have Isaac fussing over me at regular intervals. Well...at wider intervals. _I got up off my bed and opened my wardrobe, pulling out a random t-shirt, jeans and a jacket. All black. I pulled them on, followed by my wristbands, also black.

I barely spared a glance at my mirror. I knew what I looked like. Sunken cheeks, pale skin, messy hair and lifeless blue eyes. I was thin too, thinner than any girl I'd seen, anorexic or not. I stared out of my window, then decided I needed a shower. I walked across the hall, opening the door and locking it behind me. I pulled off my wristbands first, gazing for a minute at the new cut, red against the scarred skin. My t-shirt followed, and I sighed at the sight of my torso in the mirror that covered half of one wall. You could see my ribs against my pale skin, easily. I was glad I didn't have to do any sports, in school or out. Before the incident, I was the captain of half the teams in school. But then, I gave up. Within a month of that same incident, I'd collapsed three times on the field. Since then, they'd banned me from doing any sports until I started to take care of myself, sending me to the school nurse at least once a week. They even gave me a rare privilege, I could eat at any time I wanted in school, at any time, anywhere but the science labs. Not that I ever did so.

I finished undressing, then stepped into the shower. I turned the water to a freezing temperature, the only one I ever used. As I showered, the memories came back. I reached up to a loose tile, one that none of the others knew about, and pulled out another knife, the one Isaac didn't know about. He was the only who knew about my cutting, and he promised not to tell anyone else, but he still kept trying to get me to stop. I started to drag the blade of the knife across my wrists, reopening the fresh cuts. The blood dripped down my wrists, mixing with the water and trickling down the drain in a light red line. I watched as the liquid dripped from my wrists. When the flow slowed, I turned off the shower, dried myself and pulled my clothes back on. I walked back over to my room, then lay on my bed for another few hours of boredom.

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><p>I heard Sora waking up at eight. This was followed by several doors slamming open, including mine. He knew I never slept, but he still did it. He annoyed me so much. He was the youngest of us four brothers by five days. I heard Ventus moaning. He was my identical twin, younger by just five minutes.<p>

"Roxas! Get up!" He shouted, cheerful as always. I didn't reply, just standing up. "Mum's making breakfast! Come on!" He ran off. I wouldn't join them. He ought to know. Everyone else knew, although they really didn't like that I never ate. They tried to force me to eat, but when ever they managed to, they gave me too much. My stomach had shrunk massively **(A/N Yay for oxymorons!) **so I could hardly eat anything, so I ended up throwing up everything I ate. I never let them know about that, though that just meant they carried on feeding me whenever they could.

"Roxas?" Isaac asked from the doorway. I looked his way. "We're going to school now. Come on." I stood and walked silently over to the door, following him to the front door. Ven and Sora joined us at the door.

"Come on guys!" The latter called to us as he charged out of the door. Ven followed, along with a face-palming Isaac. I wandered out, hands in my pockets and head down. The others were all wearing colourful clothes, the exact opposite of me. I looked up. Sora was dancing along the street and Isaac had started a conversation with a friend of his, one I'd never learned the name of.

"Roxas?" I looked to my side to see Ven, my identical twin. "Are you ok?" I looked back down, ignoring him. "Oh, come on! You give me the silent treatment, but you talk to Isaac! I'm your twin!" I shrugged, then continued walking. Ven walked up to a friend of his, I think his name was Isa. I wasn't sure if it was him though. Meanwhile, Sora had started to talk with two people, whom I recognized as Donald and Goofy. I wandered on behind them.

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><p>Five minutes later, we walked through the school gates. While Isaac wandered to the library and Sora and Ven headed to the schools social center, aka their form room, I wandered to the one place nobody ever went, the small garden behind the staff room. It wasn't an official privilege, but the teachers let me anyway. They didn't know exactly what happened, but they knew it was something bad. I just sat under a tree while I waited for the bell. When it rang, I wandered up to my form-room, thankfully not one with any of my brothers. I didn't exactly hate then, but they did get annoying.<p>

I had a fair amount of free time today. I would have had to have both Games and PE today, a combination that Isaac hated. I wandered over to my first lesson, which was Life Studies. It was one subject I payed the slightest bit of attention to, because we often drifted to a topic that was highly relevant to me, abuse. Yeah, I was abused, even now, years after the incident. By my father. Every night, when he arrived back from 'work'. It was actually the pub. He visited that place every day, staying from four until he was kicked out, and he would take out his fury on both me and my mother. He beat me and actually cut mum, threatening to start to do the same to Sora, Isaac and Ven if we told anyone.

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><p>An hour later, I was wandering over to my next lesson. I could take all the time in the world, it was PE. While my teacher was fun, it just depressed me how people could be so cheerful with so much trouble in the world. And so, I got to spend three and a half hours in the garden. I'd never seen anyone else there in all the time I'd spent. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the tree, ready for a full three and a half hours of peace.<p>

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><p>"Roxas? Roxas!" A voice said. I opened my eyes. It was my maths teacher. "Time for your lesson. I know you never listen, but you should still be in the lesson." It was my maths teacher. "Get up and take your time. There's not really much point in arriving on time." I nodded and we wandered off towards where I have maths.<p>

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><p>When I arrived home, I knew instantly that something was wrong. My dad's car was there. I stood in the middle of the road, shocked, while the other three walked forwards, not noticing the change. It worried me, the car, not them not being shocked. After all, they had no clue about what he'd done. I walked in unsure. I walked through, looking for our mother. I opened her bedroom door, and was shocked. She lay on the bed, blood pooled around her body. And by her body, was my dad, a bloody knife in his hand. He smiled at me. It was the darkest smile I'd ever seen.<p>

"You wont tell anybody about this." He said. "Not now, and not later." I backed out of the room. Isaac walked up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Ca-call an..." I coughed. "...an ambulance..." I coughed again. My voice was hoarse from a lack of use. "Quick." He ran off to do so. My dad smirked at me. Then he slashed me across the face, leaving a bleeding line across my face. He then threw the knife out of the window.

"Good boy." He said, before walking out.

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><p><strong>End of chapter one. Did you like? The last bit's going to be important, but there's more before that. Please, will you carry on reading once I get a chance to update this.<strong>


	3. Moving

**Here's the next chapter. Oh, and Axel fans? He'll be coming in later. SORRY! Anyway, on with the fic.**

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><p>That night, I sat in the corner of my room, the bed blocking the doorway. I was fiddling with my knife, a habit that I'd gotten into when I first started cutting. Nearly three years ago now. On my birthday. Which was in two weeks time. Isaac's was a few days earlier while Sora's was later. Isaac had told me the same thing on each of his birthdays since. He said that his perfect gift would be to see me eating something. I obliged every year, eating enough to make him stop worrying. Enough to throw back up later. The feeling of food in my stomach upset me. I sputtered it back up each and every time I ate.<p>

I started to run the blade over my wrists, first lightly, as if to tickle the skin. Then it bit down into the skin. I had no clue how I managed to move the bed. I was weak from both a lack of food and blood loss. I guess it took me a while. But the last thing I remember is backing away from the room where my mother and Him were. I'd stopped calling Him dad. I never should have. What kind of father abuses his wife and children, spending time at all manner of places instead of his family. I put down my knife and pulled out my phone. It had two numbers which I barely used. Mum and Isaac. Whenever I did, it was a few letters of a code. They were the only one's who know it except me. I put it away, deciding on something different. I picked my laptop off the desk. This was the gift I got at the last Christmas before I started cutting. It was very underused. I opened a Word document started to type.

_Dear Mum._

_Why did He do this to you? I want to know, but I can't find out. He will never tell me and that is one thing that the police will not be able to find out, his motives._

_Why couldn't He have loved you, been content will what He had. But no, He had to cheat on you. I know that you know, and that He does. He would claim to just have been at the pub, but before that he was always with another woman._

_And why did he cut me? I found my face bandaged, probably by Ven. He's good at that sort of thing. I felt underneath and could still feel the open wound, thankfully no longer bleeding though._

_From Roxas._

_22nd February, 2011._

I looked at the time on my laptop before shutting it down. It was five in the morning. I felt a tear running down my cheek, stopping at the bandage. I looked out my window. I saw a beautiful sunrise on the sea, a sight that depressed me even more. That was what it was like when he kidnapped me. Blood was still dripping from my wrists, but I picked my knife back up anyway. Once again, the blade danced across my wrists. Once again, the once silver blade was stained red. Once again, the blood dripped slowly off my wrist. The sight of it was the only thing that kept me sane. It made me forget, for a while at least, all of the evils that had happened to me.

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><p>The next day came slowly. I heard Sora bang against my door and shout in surprise that it didn't open. I pulled out my phone ant sent Isaac a text. <em>UPQ. <em>That stood for upset, privacy, quiet. I knew that he would soon be telling Sora to be quiet. I might have smiled at that, but decided against it.

_There he was...licking my body, places even I'd never go. _NO! I couldn't think about that! I opened my window. I climbed on to the tree that passed by my window. I scrambled down, threw up the hood of my jacket, and wandered slowly to the beach. I then got it my boat and rowed over to the island. All the kids went there, but I only went when I wanted absolute privacy. I'd found a secret cave, hidden by a bunch of bushes. The only other person who knew about it was Ventus. He'd promised not to tell anyone, knowing that I needed privacy. I sat by the bushes and sent Isaac a text. _SP. _Secret place, privacy. I knew he wouldn't disturb me anyway, he had no clue as to where I was. I slipped behind the bushes while nobody was looking, and was shocked by what I saw. There was a group of kids, none could be older than seven, drawing on the walls. I sighed and walked out. I needed a new secret place.

I wandered home, climbing back into my room via the tree. Isaac was waiting for me in there, holding the knife I kept under my mattress. The door was shut and the bed back in it's original place. "Where did you go?" He asked. He waited for an answer he wouldn't get. He sighed. "Just show me where you go at some point." I nodded, then glared at him until he left, shaking his head. I lay down on my bed and did nothing for the rest of the morning.

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><p>"Kids. I want you to meet someone." He said. I'd found out hat his name was Bern. "This is Abbey." A woman who looked about half Bern's age stepped out from behind him. She looked like a supermodel, with flowing brown hair, bright blue eyes and an hourglass figure. I carried on staring at nothing with my emotionless face while she blushed and said something. She walked up to me.<p>

"Aww, is someone having a bad day?" She asked, reaching out as if for a hug. I didn't respond, but she hugged me anyway, to which I flinched visibly, and apparently Abbey could sense things like this as she pulled out. "Now there's no need to flinch. I'm not going to bite." She laughed. When she got no response, she pouted. "Oh, what happened to your face?" she asked, fingering the bandage that was still wrapped around my face. This was the last straw for me to I stood and walked up to my room, finding a chair that had resided is Isaac's room, with a note saying '_To block the door with_'. I would have smiled, but I'd forgotten how to long ago. I leaned it the door, stopping it from being opened. I then lay on my bed and stayed in my room for a full two weeks, when I was called down for my birthday. But I left my presents for another day, or more likely year. I had absolutely nothing to celebrate.

A note was pushed under my door. _Be nice to Abbey, or else. _It read. I didn't need to read the last word to know that it was from Bern.

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><p>Bern proposed to Abbey a week after Sora's birthday. They then married in April, announcing that instead of a honeymoon, we were all going to move house due to a sudden transfer to a different town for Bern. That was tomorrow, they'd married a week ago, and we all had to pack. Soon. Which I'd already done. Not having much pays off sometimes. I looked at the lone box and bag which held everything I owned. Bern gave is the afternoons off packing so we could spend time with our friends, the ones we were leaving behind soon. But I just spend all the time in my room.<p>

The bandage soon came off as well. I had a scar running from just above my right eye, crossing the bridge of my nose, just missing my left eye, and continuing in a straight line to the end of my jaw. I must have flinched away before Bern finished, letting him cut all of the way across. For everyone else, it would have caused them to complain about how their looks were ruined. For me, I would complain about how it made me stand out more, if I talked at all.

I started to think about mum. She'd always been so nice to us all, even me. She seemed to act even nicer to me than the others She was the first to get me to talk, and even kept a bottle of water on her for if I needed to talk. She'd heard it is easier to talk when drinking water if you do it rarely.

I logged on to my computer, the only thing I hadn't packed. I opened a word document and wrote another letter to mum. I'd been doing that every day since she died.

I wrote the letter and shut my computer down. I then did my normal activity for nights, nothing.

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><p>"So!" Abbey shouted, almost making me jump. Key word being almost. "Who wants to hear their fortune before we go?" She asked. I looked on with my bland indifferent face, my normal face in fact. Sora jumped up.<p>

"Me! Me!" He shouted. Abbey smiled and gestured to the chair opposite her on the table. He ran over and sat while Abbey excitedly placed a deck of cards on the table in front of her. She asked him to shuffle and he did, in his normal messy way, spreading them in front of him and then stacking them back up. He was then told to place the two cards at the top. She said they told him about his past. Then he took two more cards from the top for his present, and another two for his future. She scribbled something down on a notepad next to her and tore off the page, handing it to Sora. Ventus hopped up next, taking the seat Sora just been evicted from. Ven did the same, getting some paper, then Isaac did the same. "Roxas! It's your turn!" Shouted from in front of me. I glared at him but he either ignored me or didn't notice. He and Ven pulled me to the chair. I sighed and shuffled the cards how she'd told Ven to, when he'd shuffled properly. I then took two cards off the top, but pulled a third with them. I was about to put it back on the pile, but Abbey stopped me.

"No!" She shouted. "That goes with the other two. That's never an accident!" I put it with the other two and flipped them over, hearing Abbey gasp. The cards were the Hanged Man, the Strength and Death. I then pulled off another two, the Tower and Justice cards. For my future, the cards were the Star, Judgment and Death cards. She looked at me grimly. She wrote down some notes on the pad, but as she passed it to me, she whispered "I'm sorry." I wandered to my seat, tucking the note into my pocket, acting as if I'd read it later. I wouldn't though. I wasn't interested in this whole luck based thing.

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><p>"Right!" Bern called from the door. "Load the cars! The removal men are nearly done! Just the table and these chairs. Sora and Ven charged upstairs, Isaac following at a slower pace. I grabbed the box and two bags, all light, and carried them over to Abbey's car. Me and Ven were going in her car while Isaac and Ven went with Bern. I loaded the box and one of the bags into the boot, the other going in the back seat. That had my laptop. I sat back there while I waited for the others. Isaac came first with two medium-sized boxes, followed by Ven with a large one. This wasn't everything we owned, just everything we thought we'd need for the journey and when we arrived. It would be late when we arrived there, just enough time for our beds to be set up and everything to go in our rooms. Ven climbed in the front, soon followed by Abbey who started the car and followed Bern out of the drive and on to the road.<p>

The trip lasted for a long time. I sat in the back, staring in to space, half listening to Ven and Abbey talking. They seemed to be getting along well, something I knew I'd never do. How could Bern just replace mum like that? I felt a buzz in my pocket. My phone must have turned on. It buzzed again. Isaac must have sent me a text. I pulled it out of my pocket and opened the message. _Roxas, have you lost that locket mum gave you? There's one just like it in here. I'll give it to you at the rest stop. _Isaac must be the only teenager who didn't use text speech.

"Five minutes to the rest stop!" Abbey called back to me. I looked up to show her I'd registered her voice, then turned back towards the window. It wasn't long before we pulled up into the service station. I threw up the hood of my jacket to hide my face before getting out.

"Roxas." Isaac said, walking up to me. He passed me the locket I tried to keep it with me at all times, but I did loose it occasionally. Inside, one of the sides had a small mirror, the other a small photograph of mum. I looped it round me neck and tucked it under my jacket, the hood coming off just long enough to see the scar.

"Hey bros! Come on!" Ven called, waving to us from halfway across the car park. They'd walked off towards the building where the others would soon be eating and shopping. I walked after them, in my usual style. Head down, heavy steps, hands deep in pockets. It took them a good five minutes to choose a cafe. They sat down and Abbey told us to write what we wanted on her pad. When I got it, I passed it on, Abbey still surprised after all the times she's eaten with us, then it got passed around again, asking what our favourite type of chocolate was. This time, I wrote something. _I don't like chocolate. _This surprised her even more. Bern passed around some notes, fifty pounds for all of us. He told us all to spend what we liked, keep the change, and be back in ten minutes. We all wandered off, save for Bern who was saving our table. I headed straight to a random shop and bought a bottle of water, then went to find someone other than Abbey or Bern.

I found Sora first. He looked like a kid in a candy store, because that's what he was. He'd managed to find a sweet shop selling all kinds of different coloured sweets of multiple tastes. He ran out with a bag packed with what looked like enough sweets to exhaust his money supply. "Roxas!" He shouted, then pulled me along to the table, where Ven was waiting with several bags, one of which had a clearly visible giant key sticking out of it. Isaac arrived next, followed by Abbey. She had several bags she clearly didn't want anybody looking in.

They ate lunch, then we set off, each of us in the same car as before. It was a straight shot along the motorway for several hours. The pattern was the same as before. I stared at nothing while Ven and Abbey talked. I wish I had my knife with me, but both of mine were at the bottom of the box in the boot. Besides, there were other people here.

The hours dragged by and I began to feel a need to feel the metal slicing through my skin. My fingers were twitching slightly, so I resolved to digging my nails into my arm. The pain freed my mind and gave me something to focus on while I waited for a chance to use my knife.

The next service station was a quick stop. I didn't even get out of the car. It was just a chance to stretch our legs and get a snack. Abbey got my a sandwich, but I ignored it, which I think hurt her a bit. I didn't care though. As we set off again, I fingered the locket, keeping it around my neck. I felt a little tiered, which quickly grew despite my want not to sleep. But my eyes closed anyway.

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><p><em>There he was again. I struggled against the handcuffs. He grinned down, looming over me. "Ready for more?"he asked, running a hand over my stomach, filthy after just a week in this cellar.<em>

"_N-n-no..." I managed to choke out. My throat was dry._

"_To bad you don't have a choice." He said, pulling off his top..._

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><p>I jerked awake, dripping with sweat. Abbey and Ven had noticed. "Roxas, what's wrong?" Ven asked. I didn't answer. I just sat back and hoped for some peace and quiet for the rest of the trip.<p>

"We're here!" Abbey shouted as she turned into a driveway big enough for five cars. I climbed out of the car and stood there, not even bothering to look at my new home. Sora bounded up to me.

"A sweet will cheer you up!" He declaired, pressing a pink, sugar coated thing into my lips. I took it in my hand, then put it in his mouth to distract him. Ven patted me on the back.

"Let's look for our rooms, ok?" He asked. We wandered in and I found my room straight away. The walls, ceiling and carpet were all black, as were the curtains and the inside of the door. There was a small en-suite with a shower, thankfully meaning I didn't have to search all over the house for anything. I drew up a quick plan of where I wanted everything for the removal men and went to the car to grab my things. I carried them back to my room and put them in the area that would be empty. Well, an area. The only things that would be going into my room would be an unused bed, a wardrobe and a small chest of drawers. I'd made the layout just like that of my old room, even if that did mean that the en-suite door was blocked. At least it opened inwards.

There was a knock at my door. I opened it to see two men carrying a bed frame. I showed them the sheet and left them too it. I knew the job wouldn't take them long, after all, they had three things to put in my room. And while I was waiting, I'd found a loose tile in the bathroom, with a space behind it just right for one of my knives.

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><p>Ten minutes later, and I was in my room, setting everything back up like it was before the move. I put the last thing in the room, a small box my mother gave me at the same time as the locket, in it's rightful place, the hiding place I'd come up with ages ago, behind the loose tile. The room wasn't perfect, but I was doing the best I could to make sure that I didn't forget about mum. Which reminded me. I had to write the letter for today. I booted up my computer, opened a word document, and started to type.<p>

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><p><strong>Here's the next chapter. Sorry for the delay, it took a while to write. And sorry if it seems a bit rushed. Sorry again about how all the words are blocked together.<strong>

**You know, I think this is the longest chapter I've written for any of my fanfictions. I hope you liked it.**


	4. Meetings

**Here's the next chapter. Obviously.**

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><p>I trailed behind the other three as we walked to school. We'd been sent in the Monday after we'd moved in, which was the second day after we arrived. I had a sleepless two nights in pitch black darkness, even staying in my room over Sunday when we were meant to go out and meet new people. My wardrobe was in front of my window so I got light-wise was a thin sliver by one side of it.<p>

I looked up as I heard a bell tolling. The school was in sight and Sora was chatting with a brunette girl in a pink dress. They were roaring with laughter. He must have met her yesterday. Another girl joined our group, this one with blue hair a rather unique outfit, also blue. She started to chat to Ven. I wandered through the school gates and followed the others to the office, where we had to sign in for the day. The two girls left us there when a creepy old woman in black with a staff came up. "You three must be the new students." She said. "I am Maleficent. Most of the teachers in this school are called by their first names. Now, here are your timetables, maps and general information. Your form rooms are on there." I took my sheets and walked off, glancing at the map and finding my form room.

I took a seat at the back. I was the only one there which meant I had some time of quiet. "E-exucse me?You're i-in my seat." Or not. I looked up to see a girl with black hair cut short. She had blue eyes, the same colour as mine, but her's were full of emotion. I shrugged. "So are you going to move?" I didn't. She sighed, then took the desk in front of me. "Naminé's g-gonna be annoyed." She muttered before turning. "So who are you?" I didn't answer, instead the information sheet forwards. She read a small amount. "R-Roxas?" I nodded, then leaned forwards on the desk, crossing my arms in front of me. She sighed. The door opened.

"Hi Xion!" She girl who came in called. She was blond with straight hair and a white dress. Xion, as she was apparently called, smiled back.

"Hi Nami! Sorry but our seats got taken." She answered, pointing at me.

"Oh hi! Are you one of the new kids?"

"He is." Xion answered. "His name's Roxas and he hasn't yet said a word." She paused. "And I've not even seen his face yet." My hood hid my face in shadows.

"Oh. So what do you have first Roxas?"

"He has..." Xion had my timetable in her hands. She frowned, then pulled out her's. "You have the same lessons as me!" She was shocked. She checked again. "Yeah, exactly the same!"

"That's odd." I was frowning. Those chances were slim. "Hey, Xion. I bet I can make him talk." The blond said. Xion slapped her face.

"Let's not do that again." She said. Naminé grinned and sat down next to me, before kissing me dead on the lips. I panicked, the kiss bringing back the memories I never want to remember, but could never forget. I jumped up and ran to the corner, shielding my face and crouching down, cowering. "I told you something bad you happen sometime if you kept doing that. Roxas? Roxas?" She was in front of me. She offered out her and and pulled me up. "What's wrong?" I sat down and paid no attention to either of them until they stopped, which was when a flood of students came in. They took their places, no one taking the seat next to me. The teacher walked in.

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><p>"Class, we have a new student today." She announced. "Roxas Tsu, would you stand please?" I stayed in my seat. She sighed. "Roxas, would you stand?" I didn't move. "Would you tell us something about yourself then?" I shook my head and she sighed. "Anyway, it's him in the corner, wearing the hood. Call me Aerith." She said. I remained silent, not even responding when a rubber hit my head. "Stop that Hayner!" She shouted at the boy who threw it, her voice going from calm to angry in a matter of seconds. It was scary.<p>

"Sorry Aerith." The boy said.

"Apologize to Roxas, not me!" The boy shrugged.

"Sorry Roxas." He called over his shoulder. I still didn't respond.

"So, who's going to look after Roxas for the day?" She asked, her voice calm again. Xion stuck up her hand.

"I-I will. I have the same timetable as h-him anyway." She said. Aerith nodded.

"Ok then. But Hayner, you'll take him to Games this afternoon." I gulped, but not audibly. This afternoon would be bad. "Now, since I know that you're all here, you can go!" She smiled and we all spilled out of the room.

"Come on Roxas!" Xion said.

"We've got art now!" They dragged me down a couple of corridors, finally bursting through a set of double doors. They took seats at the back of the room, pulling me with them.

* * *

><p>"Hello!" Called the teacher, bursting through the doors. She looked at me. "You're Roxas, right? Good! Now class, today we're starting a new project!" There was a mixture of groans and shouts of joy. "You have to paint or draw something based on how you feel. It can be anything, just so long as it reflects your mood. Now, if you're painting, head over to one of those easels at the back. The rest of you, take some paper and whatever else you need." I headed towards the front, deciding to sit for the lesson. I grabbed a piece of paper and a random box of coloured pencils. I sat back down, Naminé sitting next to me. "Now, this isn't really a project, but if you don't finish, it's homework." I opened the box and started to sketch a collage of drawings, colouring them in as I went. In the top left, my mother's face shone out, which I meant to represent the few good things in my life. Opposite it, I drew her again, but this time, how she was when she died. Then up the middle of the page, I drew two knives, as well as a pair of wrists, dripping with blood. After that, my dad, his face twisted into a sneer as he stood next to a young looking woman. After that, a noose, a scythe and an anonymous face with a scar cutting across it. The parts I didn't fill, I filled in with the black pencil. I flipped it over and took it to the teacher, who was currently doing the same as everyone else. I put it on her desk and returned to my seat.<p>

I heard the teacher cry out in shock. She'd probably seen my drawing and was feeling ready to vomit. "Roxas, what did you draw?" Naminé asked, looking at me with curiosity. I shrugged. The teacher stood with a drawing in her hands. I knew it was mine, even though she had it turned the other way.

"Here is a wonderful, if a little distressing, drawing by our new student, Roxas over there." She pointed at me and I looked down. "And here it is!" She held it up and the others all gasped. I sighed.

"That's dark." One students said.

"Wow..." Naminé said. "You've got all that on your mind?" I glared at her darkly.

"Yes, this is an example of work that shows a different personality. What you draw doesn't have to be all white rabbits and grinning cats. And yes Alice, I was referring to you." She was looking at a girl in the front row. "Now, back to work. I'll show you mine too when I'm done. If fact, next lesson, I'll put all of your work together and we'll pick the best ones, which I'll hang up around the room. And remember, by next lesson, you need to have decided who the person you like most in the world is. Roxas, could you start now?" She gave me another piece of paper. I started to sketch out Mum. Tears started to fall on the paper as I began to shade her in with the right colours. I finished at the same time as the lesson. I stood and left, not saying a word. I followed Xion to my next lesson.

* * *

><p>English was a bore. I was given a copy of the book <em>Much Ado About Nothing<em> and was asked to read one of the parts. The one with the most to say. I flat out refused, silently. I didn't pay the slightest bit of attention, which my teacher didn't really seem to care about. It was Aerith so...

After a dull break, during which I hid near my next classroom, I had French. The teacher was nice. She was from Arabia and was quite nice, not trying to get me to talk after the first few minutes. I think her name was Jade, or Jasmine, or something like that.

* * *

><p>After the lesson, Xion dragged me out of the room. "C-Come on! It's l-lunch time!" She dragged me off towards the dining room. When we arrived, she first passed me a tray, then grabbed one for herself, followed by a plastic cup. I put the tray back and just wandered over to an empty table in the corner. I filled the glass with water from the jug and slowly started to sip.<p>

"Hey, kid! You're in our seat." I shrugged. A familiar voice spoke up.

"Marluxia, don't be so mean. He's new here. And I know that something bad's happened to him." Naminé said. Along with Xion and Naminé, there was another girl and three boys. Te girl had antennae hair. The boys had grey-blue, blond and pink hair.

"Where on earth did Ventus keep that jacket?" the pinkette asked.

"This is Roxas. Not Ventus." Naminé said. "Though I did get confused when Ven walked into my Biology class." I stayed silent and carried on sipping my water. Another boy came up.

"So who's this?" he asked.

"He's Roxas. And as of yet, I haven't heard him t-talk." Xion said. "And I have the same timetable as him." She added.

"Right. Hey, why don't you put that hood down?" He reached over and pulled it down before I could react.

"You are so cute!" The blond guy squealed." The boy I hadn't seen yet pushed my head up.

"That's an impressive scar? I bet the person who gave you that is much worse off." He said. I threw what was left of my water over his head, pulled my hood up, and quickly walked out.

I spent the rest of lunch in the library, doing nothing. The librarian was nice, though she sometimes seemed to get too stuck into books. She smiled when I came in, and after seeing I didn't want anything, went back to her book. Only a few other people entered. Libraries were nice in that way, nobody ever went there.

* * *

><p>When the bell went, I was ambushed by the boys I'd sort-of met at lunch. The boy I'd still yet to lay eyes on was glaring at me. His hair was like fire, bright red and sticking up all other the place. "Ready for Games?" He asked. I shook my head. Bern hadn't given me the slip he'd promised excusing me from Games. I didn't even have any of the kit.<p>

"It's cross country too today." Marluxia continued. Why did my day have to keep getting worse.

"You don't know our names." The boy with slate hair said. I'm Zexion, this is Demyx..." He pointed at the blond. "...the pink haired guy is Marluxia and the red-head there is Axel. And we'd better get to class." We walked off towards the gym, rain starting to fall, first lightly, but quickly growing much heavier, turning into a torrential downpour just before we got inside. I looked round. There was a short corridor before some double doors lead on to what looked like a gym. On either side of the corridor was a door, which I assumed lead to the changing rooms. A short, hairy man came out of the gym.

"You're late. I've got two words to say to you. Detention." While the others laughed, he looked at me. "Roxas, right? You're off the hook this one time. But if you're late again..." I shrugged and walked into the gym, taking a seat away from everyone else. The man came in afterwards, dragging Axel by the ear while the others followed. "Now, for those of you you who don't know me, the name's Phil. And I've got two words for you. Warm up running!" I sighed and dragged myself to my feet, following the others in a lap around the hall. I started to feel light headed, then more so until, after around a lap, I collapsed. I was unconscious before I even hit the floor.

* * *

><p><strong>AXEL'S HERE! *Cue screaming fangirls.* <strong>

**So, I've left you at a cliff hanger. Muah ha ha ha ha! I hope this keeps you wanting to read more. Hopefully this fic will carry on for a while. **

**Well then, bye!**


	5. Misery

**Sorry for the delay.**

* * *

><p>"...fainted..."<p>

"...underwei..."

"...serious..."

A motor running.

"...ER..."

"...sorry..."

"...eat..."

"...body mass is dangerously low."

"But I was certain he was eating! I didn't think someone could go so long without eating!" I recognized the voice as Abbey's. What was she doing here? Wherever 'here' was.

"We've put him on an IV drip, but I'm afraid we don't know when he will wake up." I didn't recognize this voice, but from what she said, I'd say she was a doctor. "Do you know when he last ate?"

"As far as I know, it was mid February. But I'm not sure."

"Well that doesn't match the size of his stomach. We're not sure, by my reckoning, the last time he ate properly without throwing up would have been several years ago."

"SEVERAL YEARS!" Abbey shouted. I covered my ears. "He's moving...why does he still have those wristbands on?"

"Whenever we tried to take them off, even when sedated, he started to spasm. So we stopped trying." I opened my eyes. "Also, do you know where exactly he got that scar from?"

"Not a clue." I tried to sit up, but was forced back down.

"Don't try to sit up. You'll be weak from hunger and blood loss. Some kid who carried you to your school nurse and dropped you, cutting your shoulder in five places. Deeply." I sat up anyway. Her eyes widened. I knew there was pain in my shoulder, but I didn't react to it. I was used to pain. "Yo-you shouldn't be able to sit up!" She was shocked to say the least. "How?" I shrugged.

"He never talks." Abbey said. "NO ROXAS!" I was pulling the IV out of my arm. She pulled my arm away. "You have to keep that in. Do you want to die?" She asked.

I shrugged.

"You don't know?" I shook my head. "You don't care?" I nodded. Their mouths opened in disbelief. I pulled out the IV while they were distracted. "You did that to distract us?" Abbey asked incredulously. I shrugged, then went through a door. I was glad I didn't have to be in a ward. I got a connecting bathroom and privacy. Somewhat. I waited in the bathroom until they left.

* * *

><p>A little over a week later, I was released from the hotel, walking impassively next to Isaac, who insisted on coming with Abbey.<p>

* * *

><p>I was back in school the next day, a Monday. The teachers all knew what had happened and Aerith quickly told me I was banned from Games and PE. I shrugged and sat in my seat, where Naminé and Xion tried to get me to tell them what happened. I ignored them and spent the time before my first lesson in silence.<p>

My first lesson was Maths. And wouldn't you know it? Axel was in the same class as me. I took a seat at the back and tried to ignore him and Xion, who chose to take the seats next to me. I was almost glad when the teacher came in. "You must be Roxas, right? My name is Xaldin." He said. He had dreadlocks and side burns, and over all looked like a thug. I half listened to the lesson, half ignoring the world. The same as usual.

My next two lessons were Art, again, and Psychology. In Art, I couldn't see the drawings and paintings everyone else had made. Tifa then announced that she had sent them over to the people in Psychology to be analysed. I gulped. Mine was probably going to tell them I was mad or depressed.

My luck was not good. I had Psychology right after Art. I looked down as the teacher, a man called Leon, held up my drawing. "This is by our new student, Roxas. What this has told us about him is that he has suffered a great deal of pain in the past, and judging by the wrists, still feels it now. The knives and the woman at the top are a mystery, but the woman at the bottom shows that not all of his wounds are old, some are fresh. The man and woman together are probably representations of some betrayal and the scythe and noose probably represent someone dying. As for the face with the scar..."

"Oh, that's his face." A familiar voice called out, which turned out to be the blonde with the strange hair style, Domix or Denyic or something like that. I flinched instinctively.

"Really?" Leon asked me. I stayed silent. "Hm. In my lessons, you do have to say something at some point." He said. I didn't reply. "If you don't participate, you might as well not come to this class at all." I didn't answer, instead opting to leave. "Where are you off to?" I shrugged.

"You did say that he shouldn't come if he won't participate." Someone said as I left.

"And besides..." the blonde said. "Mr. Gloomy there hasn't said a word yet." I left the room before anything else was said. I walked to the library. The librarian didn't seem to notice me.

I spent the rest of the lesson and lunch in there, only leaving once I knew I had to. My next lesson was Games. All I had to do was watch the football match, and I didn't even make any effort to do that. I just stared into space, not even reacting when the ball hit my knee. After that was Physics. The teacher looked like an older version of me, but healthier obviously, who's name was Cloud. He never seemed to show emotion, though I could tell, being even duller than him. He was constantly trying to get me to talk, which I never did.

* * *

><p>After that, I walked home with my brothers. Sora and Ven had both invited two friends over, both with a boy and a girl. I recognized the girls from the first day, but the boys were new to me. One had silver hair, the other with brown, slightly spiky hair. "Hi Roxy!" Came a familiar and annoying voice before I felt a powerful hand on my back, nearly causing me to fall. I seethed and looked pleadingly at Isaac, or at least as pleadingly my unemotional face could be. He slowed and fell into step with the red-head beside me.<p>

"Who are you?" He asked.

"I'm Axel. Roxy's best friend."

"Is this true Roxas?" I shook my head. "So why are you stalking my brother, kuripu?"

"What the...?" Isaac tapped his nose.

"It's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Sounds like something you'd say to your lover."

"It isn't."

"Right...Anyway, is there a reason that you're distracting me?"

"I don't want you flirting with my brother." He said bluntly. I decided to tune out of their conversation.

Five minutes later, we arrived home. Abbey ran up and pulled me into her arms. I struggled but she didn't let go. "Oh, Roxas! Have I got a super special awesome treat for you!" I sighed. "Just go in into your room. I'm sure that you'll love it!" I wandered to my bedroom door, opened it, and nearly fainted again, this time from shock. The walls had been painted light blue and the ceiling white. The bed had been replaced by a queen-sized one, which now sat in the corner next to the window with blue pillows and a dark blue duvet, along with several blankets which matched the duvet. There was a plasma TV hung on the wall opposite, with some games console on a shelf underneath and multiple games. The wardrobe was now next to the bathroom door, where my bed had been, and the curtains on the window had been replaced with light blue ones, the same shade as the walls. There was a small cupboard next to my wardrobe, which I found was filled with food.

"Neat!" Axel shouted, jumping on my new, if unwanted, bed. "So what is this gift Roxy?" He asked. I walked over and somehow managed to drag him out of the room. I slammed the door behind me, locking it. I then drew the curtains and, finding they barely blocked out any light, threw the blankets over the curtain rail. I then opened the cupboard to see if she'd gotten me new clothes for me as well. She had, but thankfully my old clothes were still there. I threw the new ones under my bed, hiding them from sight. I then walked into the bathroom, which was thankfully the same. I found the loose tile and pulled out the knife behind it, then decided to lock the bathroom door as well, in case anybody managed to get in past the first lock. I then tickled my wrists with it, but then decided to cut somewhere else. I pulled down my trousers and started to lightly brush the inside of my thigh with my knife, before cutting into it, wincing due to the feeling of this new pain. I felt the blood running down my leg, slowly pooling at my feet. I moved the blade to my other leg, making a similar cut there, once again wincing.

There was a sudden banging in my bedroom. Axel must have grown bored waiting for me to come out. "Roxy?" He called through the door, muffled heavily by the walls. I heard a scratching noise, then the door opening. He must have picked the lock. "Roxy? Where are you?" I sighed and mopped up the blood with some toilet paper, which I flushed away. I then washed my hands, to keep up the masquerade, and walked out, wincing at the brightness of sun through the window. "Why don't you talk Roxy? I bet you have a wonderful singing voice!" He cheered. I sighed. I did, apparently, but that was years ago. "Oh, and sorry about dropping you." He said. That did it for me. I opened my window and climbed out, ignoring Axel's desperate cries to get me to stay.

* * *

><p>I stormed through town, head down and not paying any attention to the world around me. I nearly got hit by cars at least three times, but I was beyond caring. I was hoping that one of them would actually hit me.<p>

My random wandering soon brought me to the station. I looked up and saw the clock tower. I thought about going up, sitting at the edge, falling...

I walked away. I wasn't that desperate. All that I really wanted was somewhere private, quiet, somewhere to be alone. The problem was that there was nowhere like that in this town. "Roxas?" The voice sounded like Ven. I stalked off in the opposite direction.

* * *

><p>It was eight when I arrived back, going through my bedroom window to avoid the welcoming committee that was bound to be waiting for me. I then made my room inaccessible, moving the cupboard in front of my door to make sure of it. I left the key I left the key in the lock and threw the blankets back over the curtain rail. I then sat in a corner, crying silently, curled up with my head buried in my arms.<p>

I missed the time when Bern was nice.

I missed the times when I talked.

I missed all the time that my family was a shelter.

But most of all, I missed mum.

* * *

><p><strong>No AN here. Too busy crying. *sob*<strong>

**Kuripu = creep  
><strong>


	6. Ménage

**Next chapter here.**

* * *

><p>A knock at my door. I didn't answer. I knew it would be either Isaac or Abbey, and I wasn't in the mood to talk to either of them. "Roxas. It's time to go to school." The former called through the door. So it was a school day. And morning.<p>

I'd not moved an inch. I guess Isaac had heard me come in, or figured out that I was in here. I ignored Isaac and curled into a tighter ball. He called a few more times, then sighed and left. I heard the door open and close, then silence. I didn't move from that spot for the entire day, save one time. I walked to the bathroom once, pulling out my knife and tracing more lines across my body. I repeated this several times over the next week, during which I didn't leave my room. After that, I was forced out as Abbey was panicking, thinking I was dead or unconscious.

* * *

><p>That next Monday I returned to school, ignoring everyone. So, nothing new really. Axel once again got soaked, this time a full jug of water, earning the attention of the entire school.<p>

Games was, again, boring. I sat on a bench, ignoring the world, while everyone else ran laps, glaring at me and probably thinking I was the luckiest kid in the world. Which I wasn't.

* * *

><p>The weeks passed like this. Completely boring. I ignored everybody and everything, gaining scars all over my body, mainly on my torso and upper legs, though it cut a couple of times on my upper arm. My body was soon riddled with scars. I was also so thin, my ribs stuck right out and my spine was clearly visible. I weighed much too little and had fainted several times, thankfully always in my room and never for too long.<p>

* * *

><p>The summer term crept by. On the last day of the school year, Axel groped me and earned a jug of water, including the jug, on the head, soaking him and giving him a large bruise on the face. And he still didn't give up on trying to get me in his pants.<p>

* * *

><p>I walked home in silence, as normal, while Sora and Ven cheered and Isaac sent off several texts, probably inviting some friends over at a later date in the holiday. I was just walking home like I normally do.<p>

When we arrived home, Abbey was waiting for us by the front door. "Guys! I have some good news for you!" She shouted. I walked past her, but Bern was standing in my way. I stopped. I didn't want to have to face him. "One of your cousins is going to visit!" She squealed.

"George?" Sora asked.

"Megs?" this was from Ven.

"Which cousin is it?" Isaac asked.

"It's TJ. He's also bringing a friend of his, called Zack apparently." She said happily.

"Yay! TJ's coming!" Sora cheered. I slipped past Bern and went into my room.

"When will he be here?" I heard Isaac ask.

"Two weeks from now. We ought to do some cleaning. And try to cheer up Roxas. TJ said he's really looking forwards to seeing him."

"Good luck." Isaac said before he wandered up to his room.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, the doorbell rang. As I sat in silence, I heard the voices of the two people at the door and Isaac. "Hello. Is Roxas home?" I identified that voice as Naminé.<p>

"W-We're friends of his." that was Xion.

"Really? Come in. I'll try to get Roxas." He knocked on my door. I locked it. He sighed. "Sorry, I don't think Roxas wants to see anybody today.

I started to feel weak, light-headed. I grabbed the door and barely managed to unlock it before I collapsed on the carpet, hearing screams of shock from the girls.

* * *

><p>Consciousness returned slowly. "...second time he's fainted this year." I heard Abbey say. I tried to sit up but found I couldn't move.<p>

"I though I'd seen him before. Once again, he's on an IV. He's also been given blood, having lost a huge quantity of it. Something I don't remember though is the scars covering his body."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, last time, his body was unmarked. But now, well, there's a patchwork of scars."

"Right. And why have you tied him down?" This comment helped me to realize I could move, but was just tied down. I panicked.

* * *

><p><em>I was trapped, caught between his body and the pole behind me. I fought with the handcuffs, but it was no good. All that happened was that I drew blood. I cried, but arched my back, screaming. He grinned evilly. "Oh, you are such a good little slave." The slammed his lips into mine, forcing his way in, making me moan in unwanted pleasure...<em>

* * *

><p>"Quick! He's having a panic attack!" Someone shouted.<p>

"Here!" Someone else said. I felt something jabbing into my arm, which scared me even more. I tried to shake the needle loose, but to no avail. I was struggling until the drug I was injected with knocked me unconscious.

* * *

><p>I woke in my room. Isaac was sitting by my bed, dozing. I sat up, stretching. I winced as one of the scars split slightly. Isaac woke. "Oh! I'm glad to see you're up. You've been out for two weeks. It's the only way they could actually look after you without you either panicking or fighting back." He explained. "Oh, and TJ's arriving tomorrow." He added. When I didn't speak he carried on. "Abbey said you had a panic attack. Why?" I looked at him blankly and he sighed. "I guess I'm not going to get any answers from you then." I tried to stand, but fell back on my bed. "Remember, you've been out for two weeks. You're likely to be weak." He explained. The door opened and Abbey walked in, followed by Sora and Ven.<p>

"Oh! You're awake! The doctor said you should have woken up yesterday." She burst out.

"I told you before, it would take longer because he is so light." Isaac told her.

"That reminds me! Stock check!" She called. Sora and Ven ran to the cupboard which had the food. "I've put a list of the food I put in at the start on the top shelf." They pulled it out and counted up.

"Everything's there." Sora said.

"Yep." Ven confirmed. Abbey looked upset.

"Why won't you eat?" She asked me. I shrugged, then stood, a little wobbly but still managing it. I then opened the door and gestured for them to leave. Isaac stayed behind.

"Roxas, you need to eat something one of these days." He told me. "Please. Just do it for us." He pleaded. Then he left, mentioning something about rescheduling. I locked the door an sat on my bed, silently crying over everything bad in his life.

Which was a lot.

* * *

><p>I spent the rest of the day sitting on my bed. The only time I got up was when I heard a loud thump and several giggles that sounded a lot like Sora. I knocked on the door to get whoever it was to leave. After that, I realized what it was. I flinched instinctively. I remembered that time. The first time.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I woke up, eyes blurred. I blinked until my sight cleared. I was in a dark room, the only light coming from an exposed bulb, moving like a pendulum, probably due to some draft. I tried to rub my eyes but I couldn't get my hands close. I tried to move them, but couldn't. I heard a door open behind me, followed by footsteps. I tried to turn and see who it was, but there was something in the way. A pipe.<em>

* * *

><p>I stumbled into the bathroom, barely able to stand.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>Who are you?" I asked.<em>

"_I may tell you later. But you should know, if you behave, you shall suffer a lot less pain." He stepped into my line of vision, then came closer, cradling my face in one hand._

* * *

><p>I reached for the tile hiding my knife, placing it in the tub.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I shrank away from him, but he came closer, kissing my lips gently before crashing his lips into mine, literally forcing mine open with his tongue. I panicked, trying to push him away. I felt a sudden sting on my cheek. "Remember. The more you resist, the more pain you'll get."<em>

* * *

><p>I pulled off my jacket and grabbed my knife, rolling up my sleeve. I quickly cut the skin beneath my shoulder, not quite where I was aiming for but it would do. The pain distracted me from the memories, but that didn't last long.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>Remember. The more you resist, the more pain you'll get."<em>

* * *

><p>I shook and the blade dug even deeper into my arm, causing me to wince. I pulled the knife out and held my hand over the cut, wrapping toilet paper tightly around my arm to stop the flow. I wasn't planning on dying yet. I just couldn't bare living.<p>

* * *

><p>I cried all night, sitting on my bed. The pain in my arm was helpful. It distracted me, stopping me from thinking about him. By the time morning came, I'd run out of tears. My arm had stopped bleeding, but the pain was still there. I lay down, putting pressure on the cut, causing me to wince. I sighed, then I remembered. TJ was arriving later. I'd not seen him in years. The thought cheered me up.<p>

Slightly.

* * *

><p>"Roxas?" I heard Isaac say from the other side of the door. I walked over and unlocked the door, letting him in. "Just so you know, TJ's train should arrive at eleven. Me and Dad are picking him up, and you are coming too." He said. He looked at my bed, seeing the blood stain. "Not again. Though I see it's in a different place. Could I see?" I shrugged, wincing in pain, before rolling up my sleeve and removing the makeshift bandage. "Ow." He said. The skin around the cut was covered in dried blood, and the cut itself was a dark red, ugly as could be. He lightly pressed his finger against it and I winced, shying away from his fingers. He put his hand down while I rolled my sleeve down. "Sorry. Anyway, we need to get ready to pick TJ up." I shrugged and headed for the bathroom, preparing for a shower. Isaac left after setting out some clothes, leaving my jacket.<p>

* * *

><p>It took me fifteen minutes to finish. By that time, it was half nine. I spent the next hour doing what I normally do, nothing. Isaac got me at half ten. I took the back seat while Isaac and Bern went at the front. The drive took twenty minutes, most of which was spent in silence.<p>

* * *

><p>The station was dull. It was nothing but a concrete slab opposite another concrete slab, with a wall behind each and a few chairs on each. The train rumbled in and I looked for TJ, and the friend of his. I saw him leaving the train, followed by a black haired boy I assumed was Zack. I tapped Isaac's shoulder and pointed. He nodded and walked over to them. There was a short conversation, about two minutes long, and they arrived back. The five of us walked down, me following after, TJ and Zack yet to have seen me. When they climbed in the car, they were surprised when I got in after them. "Who are you?" My cousin asked.<p>

"It's Roxas." Isaac said from the front seat. Both TJ and Zack gasped.

"I thought you said he was a happy-go-lucky person." Zack said.

"I thought he was!" TJ shouted in disbelief. I covered my ears, still hidden by my hood. "What's wrong with you Roxy?" He pulled down my hood, gasping again at my face. "What happened to you?" He asked, referring to my scar. I lowered my head.

"He rarely talks any more." Isaac explained.

"Since when?"

"Several years ago, not long after we last saw you."

"That's a long time." He patted my shoulder and I winced. "Sorry. Why does it hurt?"

"Recent injury." Isaac half-lied. "His shoulder still hurts from it."

"Right. Any other things?"

"Don't expect to see him at dinner."

"Why?" Zack asked.

"He eats about as often as he talks."

"How could he live without eating?" Zack asked incredulously. "It's one of the best things in life!" I shrugged, flinching. I looked at the two of them. They gasped.

"Oh, that is terrible..." TJ gasped, gently pulling me to him in a sympathetic hug. I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw Zack give me an envious glance.

* * *

><p>"We're here!" Bern announced.<p>

"Wow..." TJ said as he looked at the house.

"I agree." Zack commented.

"Come on in." Isaac said, opening the door. They walked in, gasping at the interior even more than the exterior. "Roxas, why not show them around?" I shrugged, once again flinching. I lead them round, first the living room, then dining room, the lunge and the rest of the house. I left out my bedroom, but they still noticed the door.

"What's in there?" Zack asked. I opened the door, showing them my room. Thankfully, Isaac had time to remove the sheets so they didn't see the blood stain.

"Oh! You have a PS3! Cool! What games do you have?" TJ was excited. I'd forgotten how much he loved video games. He flicked along the shelf with the games Abbey had given me. "Wait a minute...all of these are sealed. You haven't played any of them? And some of these games are awesome!" He pulled one out and put it in the machine, pulling out three remotes. "Lets play Split Second!" He called. I flopped down on my bed and ignored the attempts of Zack and TJ to get me to play, them eventually giving up and racing each other, the first use of everything there. I stayed flopped on the bed until Isaac told them it was lunch time. When they left, I walked to the bathroom and grabbed my knife. Then I pulled my wristbands off. I'd been neglecting my wrists for a while. I cut through the skin, watching the blood trickle down.

* * *

><p>"Roxy? Where are you?" TJ called from my room. I pulled the wristbands back on and walked out. "Ahh. Right, you're wanted in the lounge." We walked through.<p>

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><p>When I walked into the dining room, everyone had a serious look on their face, which was odd for some off the people there. As me and TJ sat, Bern stood. "Now Roxas..." I gulped. "We have been talking, even TJ and Zack inputting to the debate, and we know that you have a problem. Now, what we have been debating about is what to do with you." Again, I gulped. Abbey spoke up.<p>

"We're going to send you to a Psychiatrist." She said. I shrugged, flinching, and stood to leave, but Isaac stopped me.

"We've also figured out that you aren't sleeping. Thus, we've decided to get you sleeping pills." I shrugged again, managing to fight back the flinch, and left. I wouldn't take them and I wasn't actually going to talk or paying attention to the psychiatrist.

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><p>I spent the rest of the day listening to TJ and Zack play video games and trying to get me to join in. I also heard some giggling from them, but ignored it. After several hours, Abbey came in.<p>

"Hello guys! I'm sorry but we only have one spare room. Do you mind?"

"Not at all." TJ said instantly, with a smile on his face. Zack mirrored his expression.

"Oh, and we've booked you an appointment tomorrow at one. You need to be ready by then." I didn't respond. "Now, it's time for dinner." While the other three left, I just sat and emptied my mind, not even noticing when the power cut out, or Abbey's subsequent scream.

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><p><strong>Sorry if this chapter seems a little rushed.<strong>

**Bye!**


	7. Muteness

**Sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoy.**

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><p>I did react to the constant banging on my door five minutes later, along with Abbey and Sora screaming my name, probably worried for me. I sighed and unlocked the door, letting them in. I then sat on my bed and waited for them to realise that the door was unlocked. When they flooded in, they babbled a ton of absolute nonsense. I then heard Abbey take a deep breath, then she spoke legibly.<p>

"Roxas? Are you ok?" She asked. I didn't say anything, instead raising my hand. "Roxas? ROXAS!" She mustn't be able to see me. I threw one of the blankets of my bed in her direction, not as hard as I would've liked though. She still shrieked, but ran over and hugged me. I tried to wriggle out of her grasp, but failed. "Oh, I'm so glad that you're ok!" She shouted in my ear. I winced. I heard someone stumbling into the room.

"Good news." I heard Bern say. "The lights should come back on by tomorrow morning. I've got some candles lit in the front room. Come on." He led the others downstairs. I stayed, gazing at the ceiling. I had to try to paint the room at some point. I stayed like that all through the night, until the light in my room flicked on, blinding me. After five minutes of my eyes adjusting to the light, I stood and turned it off, blinking at the sudden darkness. I heard the doorbell ring, then open. I heard a short conversation, but couldn't make out what was being said. After a minute or two, I heard footsteps on the stairs and the door open.

"Roxas?" It was Axel. I turned away from him. He sat on the bed next to me. "You're asleep, aren't you?" He sighed and I felt him lean back. "Why do you have to be so sad all of the time? It's upsetting to see you like that. Why couldn't you just talk sometime? Or tell me why you are so sad. You see, I lo..." He cleared his throat. "I love you Roxas. I want to be with you forever. Couldn't you be less distant to me?" He sighed again. "Here I am, too scared to tell you all of this when you are awake." He chuckled. "Well, I should let you sleep in peace. Goodbye Roxas." He leaned towards my face and gently brushed my cheek with his lips, then lay a gentle kiss on it. Then he stood and left. I felt a tear run down my face, but didn't know why.

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><p>Later that day, the door opened again and Abbey hurried in. "Come on Roxas! We have to get to the Psychiatrist's!" She shouted. I stood and followed her out, grabbing my jacket and throwing it on, along with the hood. We got in her car and drove off, Sora with us. They yapped away in the front about some strange Disney film, one about a girl with very long hair. The car stopped at a set of traffic lights.<p>

"Roxas? Are you ok?" Sora asked. I ignored him.

"Roxas?" Abbey asked, grabbing my hand. I just pointed ahead, where the traffic lights had turned green. She turned and drove on, but Sora kept on looking at me.

"Roxas. Why are you so cold to everyone?" He asked, his puppy-dog eyes, that he thought no-one could resist, being turned on me. I ignored him again, causing him to pout.

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><p>"Here we are!" Abbey announced, pulling up next to a building, grey steel and glass. I followed them out and into the reception, where Abbey told the receptionist we were there. When the receptionist saw me, she gasped.<p>

"Roxas?" She asked. "And Sora!"

"Hi Nami!" Sora called cheerily.

"So, what are you up to?" She asked.

"Trying to find why Roxas is so depressed." He said "Well, see you Nami!" After that, we sat in the waiting room for half an hour, literally. Abbey was so paranoid about us being late that she got us here way too early. I spent the time staring at my feet, staying on the opposite side of the room to Abbey and Sora, who were chatting very loudly. And I mean very. I barely heard my name being announced over them. We wandered down a corridor to room five, me behind the others. I was last in, but still heard Sora's shout of surprise.

"Leon?" He asked. I tried to remember if I knew anyone by that name, and when I saw him, it struck me. He was my Psychology teacher.

"Hello Sora. And Roxas." He nodded towards me, then turned to Abbey and Sora. "Could you please wait outside? These sessions are meant to be private, that's all.

"Sure!" Abbey said before she and Sora practically skipped out of the room.

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><p>"Right. So, what is wrong with you?" I stayed silent. "Hmph. So you are going to be as silent as you are in class?" I remained silent. He sighed. "At the very least, sit down." I took a seat on the sofa opposite him, staring at my feet again. "So, are you going to talk?" Once again, he was met with silence. "Very well." He walked out of the room for a minute, returning with Abbey and Sora.<p>

"Were you really that quick?" She asked.

"We're not done. Roxas just refuses to talk. Thus, I need you to tell me what is wrong with him." Leon explained. "So..."

"So what?" Abbey asked.

"What is wrong with him?"

"He doesn't eat, sleep or speak. He rarely emerges from his room and faints all the time." She said. "I also think he's bullied." She paused. "And he isn't mute." She added.

"Right..." Leon looked lost in thought for a few minutes, then sagged slightly. "The only thing I can think of is that he is suffering from a major case of depression. If it isn't that, I have no clue what it is. I'd recommend trying this place." He gave Abbey a card. "Ask for Scrooge McDuck and tell him I sent you to him. If nothing improves at least."

"Thank you Mr..."

"Call me Leon." He said.

"Thank you Leon."

"See you at school!" Sora called over his back as he left. I followed in my usual way, head down, hood up and hands stuffed in my pockets.

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><p>When we were passing the desk, I looked up for a second, and saw him, walking along the street opposite. I gasped, and started to back away from the door.<p>

"Roxas?" Naminé asked, having seen me. "Roxas? What's wrong?" She sounded scared. No, worried. Abbey and Sora turned.

"Roxas?" Sora looked at me, curious. I was still staring at him, walking along the pavement, on the far side of the road. Then he turned his head, seeming to look straight at me. Then he grinned. I felt panic rising.

"No..." I choked out, before I collapsed. I heard screaming before loosing consciousness.

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><p><strong>Sorry for how short it was. I hope you liked it.<strong>


	8. Myself

**I have this story planned until Chapter 12 so far. I hope that you enjoy this chapter.**

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><p>I woke up on my bed. <em>This is starting to get repetitive.<em> I thought, then sighed. I looked round. The room was empty. I couldn't hear anything either, surprisingly. That meant that the only person who could be home would be...

The door opened.

...Isaac. I stared at him, blandly. "You really have to be more careful, you know." It told me, sighing. "And you need to take better care of yourself. The doctor said that if you go back before school starts again, there's a strong chance you'll become addicted to morphine." I shrugged, vaguely noting that the pain in my shoulder was gone. I looked at him with my 'I don't care' look, that only seemed to work on him. I had worse things to worry about now. _He_ was here, there's a boy with a crush on me and I am loosing the will to live. Did he really think a possible morphine addiction was high on my list of things to worry about?

...Then again, he only knew about one of them.

As far as I know.

"Oh yes, TJ and Zack are here for another week, in case you wanted to know. They still want to spend some time with you, even if you make as much sound as the sun." He said, his love of Physics showing for a few seconds. "The others have gone out to the garden center. You know how much I dislike that place." He said. "Besides, someone needed to look after you." He smiled. "Want anything to drink?" He asked. I shook me head. "Eat?" He sounded hopeful. I shook my head again. He sighed. "Fine." He sighed again before leaving. After about half a minute, I heard his voice through the door. "Hi Vani. Could you come over. It's just me and Roxas so it'll be fine us to..." He went out of earshot, so I couldn't hear the rest of what he said.

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><p>I heard an annoyingly familiar voice calling from the front door. "Hello! We're back!" Abbey shouted. I heard movement downstairs, then footsteps heading up. I got up quickly and locked the door, just in time. The doorknob rattled, then I heard a sigh. "Come on Roxas." The person, Abbey, moaned through the door. I walked into the bathroom, locking that door as well. "At least come out to get your gift." I barely heard through the doors. I ignored her, instead reaching for the tile. I wasn't planning on cutting, I just felt the need to hold it. I fiddled with the knife, the only thing that seemed to let me keep any traces of sanity. Even there it was way too little. I dropped the knife, slicing my finger slightly, but enough to draw a small amount of blood. I flinched, then watched a bead of blood, then another, as it fell to the floor. I picked the knife back up, and rolled up my sleeve. I saw the scar, a large, ugly one, when I cut my shoulder, wincing. I sliced across the top of my shoulder, the blood leaving slowly, not much leaving. I cut again, this time a little lower. More blood came out, trickling down my arm. I smiled at the pain, dulling my memories.<p>

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><p>I heard a knock at my door. "Roxas?" TJ asked, barely audible.<p>

"Unlock the door, please?" Isaac asked. I sighed and unlocked the bathroom door, then the main door. I knew they wouldn't go due to the voices they used, their determined voices. When they came in, I locked the door behind me. I didn't want anybody else coming in.

"Roxas? That gift Aunt Abbey gave you...Here it is." TJ handed me a box, slim, rectangular and made of wood. I threw it down on my bed carelessly. "Roxas? Are you going to explain that?" He asked, pointing at my arm. I sighed. I'd forgotten to roll my sleeve back down. I looked at Isaac.

He exhaled loudly. "Firstly, you have to promise not to tell anyone." He said, sensibly. He nodded.

"I promise."

"Right. Roxas...well...he cuts." TJ gasped. "Yeah. And I have no clue as to why." He shook his head. "All I know is that it is very likely to be whatever caused his silence. And that's a guess. It's probably also linked to his serious personality change and his eyes." He sighed. "I just wish I knew why..." He trailed off.

"Why don't you stop him?" TJ asked, curious.

"I've tried, but I can never find his knife, or convince him to stop." He sighed and looked at his feet. "I just wish I could get through to him..." He muttered, barely loud enough to hear. The doorbell rang. "That's probably for me." He said, unlocking the door and walking out. I relocked the door, leaving me and TJ in my room. He looked at me worriedly, then left, unlocking the door again. He fell over Zack, who was waiting just outside, landing on top of each other. They quickly got up, but seemed somewhat reluctant. They walked over to the stairs, where Zack suddenly tripped on some toy that had been left lying about, and was about to fall down when TJ caught him, but pulled too hard on his wrist and they ended up toppling over backwards, this time Zack landing on TJ.

"Thanks TJ." Zack said, rubbing his head briefly before helping the other up.

"No problem Zack." They smiled at each other, then Zack planted a gentle kiss on TJ's cheek.

"Thanks so much." They smiled at each other.

"Oh, that is so cute!" I heard someone shout. Abbey. She ran over and pulled them both into a hug.

"You two are gay?" I heard Isaac ask, sounding somewhat surprised.

"Well, I'm bi but we are still a couple." TJ said. "We met on a double date with two other guys." He explained. "We fell in love not long afterwards."

"Wow." Isaac said. I heard the front door open.

"I'm back!" Bern call from the hall.

"Honey! Come up here! We've just found out that Zack and TJ are together!" I heard someone running up the stairs.

"Really?" He asked in mock disbelief. I could tell when he was faking an emotion, though the others seemed oblivious to that, even though Isaac seemed a little nervous. The emotion I could see in his eyes...it was...no, I must be wrong.

"Can I bring my boyfriend over tomorrow?" Sora and Ven asked at the same time. They laughed.

"Of course you can." Abbey replied instantly, brightening up their faces.

"I didn't expect so many..." I heard Isaac whisper, barely audible. I looked at him, then at Bern. The emotion was clear.

Rage.

* * *

><p>I turned back and went back into my room as another black haired boy came running up, stopping next to Isaac. I locked the door, ignoring Sora who was trying to get in.<p>

"Hey Rox! Why don't you bring a friend over?" I heard him ask through the door. I ignored him and pulled out my laptop, turning it on and opening another word document, ready to type another letter. There were a lot of them now, I wrote one on pretty much every day. When anything happened.

_Dear Mum._

_I came round to consciousness today. Again. As I was leaving the psychiatrist's, I saw Him. The person I told you about, before. When I first woke up after arriving here, in the town._

_I think that I'm loosing the will to live. I have found that a lot of people I know are gay, and that He is here in Twilight Town, all in a too short length of time. And I'm scared. Scared of Him. He is the source of the fear in my nightmares. He is the reason everything in my life went so bad. That is what I try to convince myself anyway. But I fail. I know it is me. If I wasn't so quiet, so withdrawn, you would still be alive. I know it. But I still cannot bring myself to speak. To stand out, to live. Or even acknowledge._

_I'm sorry Mum. I miss you deeply._

_From Roxas._

_7th August, 2011._

I shut down my computer. And then the memory hit.

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><p><em>I cowered away from him. I was lucky this time though, He was only going to wash me. He found it more fun if I was clean. He threw the freezing water over my body, starting to rub a bar of soap over every visible inch. I squirmed away from his touch, trying to draw my legs up to protect myself from his touch. But I couldn't. He'd tied my legs to some other pipes. He grinned. "Now now. What are you doing, trying to hide from me? He asked before throwing another bucket of water on my head, followed by a towel, with which he started to ruthlessly attack my body. I cried out in pain as he scrubbed at an open cut on my leg. He carried on grinning, before he was finally done and unlocked me, giving me my clothes. I stared at him in disbelief. "Get dressed." He ordered me. I dressed, feeling glad to finally have some clothes covering my body after a full three weeks. He lead me upstairs and forced me into the car. It was night time.<em>

_He drove me to the park, where he took me to the children's play area, punching me in the face and knocking me out._

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><p>I was in the bathroom, groping for the tile. It fell into the bath, thankfully not breaking. I pulled out the knife. It's blade was dark red, covered in my blood. I pulled off my wristbands, the scar tissue covering most of the skin. I placed my knife over my left wrist, starting to slowly pull the knife across, leaving a trail of red that started to drip towards my elbow. I switched hands, pulling the knife across the other. I watched the blood slowly fall down my arms, dripping off of my elbows to the floor, pooling. I got some toilet paper and mopped it up, soaking up any more as it fell. When I finally reached a point where I could, I flushed away the paper and went to lie on my bed. I stayed there for the rest of the day, ignoring the world around me as I stared at the ceiling and tried not to think about Him or Bern.<p>

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><p>It seemed to soon when the doorbell rang the next morning.<p>

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><p><strong>I hope you liked. Sorry for the delay, and for the shortness.<strong>

**Oh, and I have a poll on my account, if you could please take a look.**

**Bye.**


	9. Measure

**Here's the next chapter. But why am I telling you? It's obvious!**

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><p>"I'm Terra." A brunette with slightly spiky hair said.<p>

"And I'm Riku." A silverette told us from his seat on the adjacent sofa, with Sora cuddled next to him.

"It's so good to meet you!" Abbey said as she and Bern stood to shake their hands. "Isaac, Roxas. You two should bring home your girlfriends." She told us. "Or boyfriends." She added.

"Sorry, but I don't think that's going to apply to Roxas, and I don't love anyone right know. And the only reason Roxas is here anyway is because me, you and Bern forced him out." Isaac commented.

"No, it was all you really." She said, praising him. I sighed.

"Thank you. So, what's your favourite thing in the world?" I was glad Isaac asked that. It gave me a chance to walk away while everyone else was distracted.

"Hey? Where are you off to?" The silverette...Rukia or something, called, making everybody look at me and Isaac to pull me to the sofa I vacated, but to the side adjacent to where he was sitting. I barely payed attention to the conversation that ensued, the only things I did being glaring at the silverette and staring at nothing.

"What do you think Roxas?" I registered. I looked at Abbey. She sighed. "What do you think of your new school?" I shrugged.

"From what I've seen of him in school, he doesn't like it. But, he hates the world so what do you expect?" I glared at Sora. He didn't see past the hood.

"Don't be cruel." The silverette said. Did I mention that I'm terrible with names for most people? If they annoy me, I'm more likely to remember their names.

"I was being cruel?" He asked, unsure. He was terrible at things like that. Sora then sat up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, smiling. The silverette blushed, then returned the kiss. Sora blushed an even darker shade, though that might have had something to do with the hand, which I hope was misplaced. The small moan Sora gave off triggered a memory.

_He kissed my cheek, his hand wandering downwards. I gasped as he touched me, and I struggled to get away from him. He bent down and started to make me moan. From unwanted pleasure._

"Roxas? Roxas? What's wrong?"

_He looked up, his face covered in white. He forced my mouth open. "Lick it up." He demanded. I shook me head._

_SLAP! My head flew to the left, and I unwillingly started to lick his face, swapping the liquid for saliva._

"Roxas!"

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><p>I woke up in my room. It was empty, thankfully. I heard voices from the lounge.<p>

"So he had a panic attack?" I heard Abbey asked, worried.

"Yes." A woman said, with an English accent.

"Not again..."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, this is the...third time at least."

"Right...I think you ought to send him to a psychiatrist."

"He's already seeing one. He's just started. His next appointment is next week."

"When was his last one?"

"About two weeks ago. He did have one booked for last week, but he fainted." There was a brief pause.

"Well, I've got to go. Thank you for the tea. And remember to keep him fed. He is all but skin and bones. And those scars..." Another pause. "I've got to go. I would suggest talking to him about self harm...and suicide. Goodbye." A few seconds, then the front door opening and closing. Then footsteps on the stairs. Abbey knocked on my door, then opened it, looking at me lying on my bed. She noticed that my eyes open, then walked over to me.

"Sorry about leaving you. Have you been awake long?" I shook my head, feeling a little dizzy afterwards.

"That's good. I'm going to have a mother-son talk with you and the others tomorrow. Lunchtime in the lounge. Compulsory snacks." She smiled at her little plot at the end. I shrugged. "I'm just going to tell the others." She smiled, then left. When she closed the door, I stood, staggering a little, and walked to the door, locking it.

Within five minutes, there was knocking on my door again, and the doorknob twisted, then jiggled a little, before stopping. "Roxas. Open up!" Sora called through the door. I ignored him, instead opening the window and seeing how big the drop was.

I forgot I was on the first floor.

Did I mention how much I hated this house? The lounge was lower than my room, but the ground nearly reached my window. The house was on a slope, in a hole. I sighed, then climbed out, walking up the hill, wondering if there was a cliff.

To my great disappointment, there wasn't. It just sloped up, then was intersected with a fence at the top. I sighed, then sat on the grass. I curled up and let tears flow from my eyes.

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><p>I must have been there for several hours, as when Ven and his boyfriend came running up to me, they looked scared. "There you are!" Ven exclaimed. "Everyone's been worried sick because of you. Abbey's ready to phone the police. Come on." He pulled me up, nearly falling over because of how light I was. I struggled, wanting nothing more than to stay up there, or somewhere quiet at least, but Ven dragged me back home. He found it easy because if my weight. It took two minutes to get home, the entire time with me being dragged by my twin. It was degrading, or would have been if I could care.<p>

He pulled me up in front of Abbey. "Found him!" He stated, the obviousness of the statement causing Terra to slap his face. Abbey flung her arms around me.

"Oh, I'm so glad that you're safe. And while you were gone, I decided to bring forwards the talk." She smiled. "Do you mind Terra?"

"Not at all ma'am." He said.

"Don't be so formal. You can call me Abbey. I thought I told you that already." She said. "Anyway, we still need to check if it's fine with Riku, TJ and Zack."

"Don't forget Vanitas." Isaac said, walking in with said boy.

"I'm fine with you guys being down here for the mother-son talk-thing. Just don't be long." The boy ran off as Ven and Sora reentered the room. I didn't notice Ven leave before, but he must have. We all took our seats.

"Hey! Where our our snacks?" Sora asked, rubbing his stomach. Isaac left them, coming back after a few minutes with treats I half-recognized as being from my room. A cookie was the forced into my hands.

"Food is compulsory, remember?" Abbey said. I sighed, then broke off a piece of the cookie and put it in my mouth, swallowing it quickly. I did this another five times before Abbey started her talk.

It lasted fifteen minutes, and she must have done some serious research. If I had to say something about Abbey, she can certainly keep Sora quiet. When her speech was finished, she asked for questions. I wasn't even listening to her, instead slowly eating the cookie. I was only halfway through it when I felt full, thankfully around the same time as Abbey finished. I quickly started to make my escape, but was stopped.

"Roxas. Come here." I heard her say sternly. I walked back over to her and she pulled something out from behind the sofa. It was a set of bathroom scales. "Sora first." I took a seat while Sora stood on the scales. "Eleven stone two... Ven. You're up." He took Sora's place. "Eleven stone one. Isaac?"

"I'm eleven stone three." He said, not bothering to stand. "And those scales are two pounds out, Ven's Ten thirteen and Sora's Eleven." He said, shrugging.

"Thank you. Roxas." I stood on the scales and heard Abbey gasp. "Four stone seven?" She was shocked, to say the least. "Right! That's it! You're eating with us tonight. And every night from now on." She proclaimed. "And you will eat." She added. I sighed, then returned to my room.

* * *

><p>I decided to have a little walk around the house first though.<p>

Reason? Bern was hovering around my bedroom door. I toured the kitchen, quickly slipping through it as Abbey was there, along a hallway and up a flight of stairs, and past several bedrooms.

"Shhh. Someone might here us." That voice sounded like Isaac.

"Well I don't care about that." Came another.

"Oh Vani. Why must you look so good?" I heard nothing for a couple of minutes, then some gasping. "That...was fun..." Isaac panted.

"Want to try it again?" I opened the door, and was shocked to see Isaac and the black haired boy sitting together on the bed, their lips locked together and their eyes sealed shut. I gasped, and they instantly split apart, blushing as they trying to pretend noting was going on. I left, but I could feel them glancing at my back.

* * *

><p>I walked back towards my room, and as I reached the stairs, I realized what I saw. My head started to throb, and memories started to pour into my head, ones I didn't want.<p>

_He stoked my chin, forcing me to look at him. He kissed my lips gently, then powered his way into my mouth with his tongue._

The headache grew worse, and I held my head in both my hands, screaming in pain.

_There he was again. I struggled against the handcuffs. He grinned down, looming over me. "Ready for more?"he asked, running a hand over my stomach, filthy after just a week in this cellar._

"_N-n-no..." I managed to choke out. My throat was dry._

"_To bad you don't have a choice." He said, pulling off his top..._

I felt myself sink to my knees, feeling a little light-headed. I faintly remembered being at the top of a flight of stairs.

_There he was, looking down on me. Looming over me like a shadow. He brought his hand to my cheek and I flinched away. He stroked it, then smashed his lips into mine, not caring if I wanted it or not. He then pulled down his trousers, stepping out of them, then his underwear..._

I fell forwards, still screaming. I hit my head against the corner of something, nearly knocking me out, before I started to move.

_I was trapped, caught between his body and the pole behind me. I fought with the handcuffs, but it was no good. All that happened was that I drew blood. I cried, but arched my back, screaming. He grinned evilly. "Oh, you are such a good little slave." The slammed his lips into mine, forcing his way in, making me moan in unwanted pleasure..._

I was unconscious before I reached the third step.

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><p><strong>Dun dun DUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!<strong>

**Bye!**


	10. Mark

I woke up in my room. I was sure I was being sedated a dangerous amount, but I didn't care. I tried to stand, but I fell over right away. I looked and saw that my left leg was wrapped in white. I lay on my back where I'd fallen, waiting for someone to come in and explain why my leg was in a cast.

Ten minutes later, Bern walked into my room. I shrunk away from the man who acted like my father, the man who hated me and my cousin. And my brothers. I could see in his eyes, the fury that he kept hidden from the others, that he hid so well, except in the eyes. Isaac once quoted something to me. 'The eyes are the windows to the soul'. That matched both me and Bern perfectly. His eyes burned with the flames of hatred that blazed within his soul, while mine betrayed the emptiness inside of me.

"Roxas. You are a disgrace. So are your brothers. I hate you all." With that, he backhanded me. It wouldn't have done much to a normal person, but I was less than half the weight I should have been. The force of the blow sent me flying onto my front, twisting the leg I had in a cast and causing me to cry out in pain. "Call all you like. No one will hear you. They're all out at the supermarket." He hit me several more times before he left. I didn't care though, the hood on my jacket would hide it anyway. I just wish that he could care about us more. All I wanted to know was why he hated my brothers.

I sighed and looked at the ceiling. Then I swung, with considerable effort, my legs off of the bed, so that I could try to stand. It took a few tries before I managed to stay standing, and I hobbled over to the door, locking it, before I headed to the bathroom. I locked that door behind me as well, then climbed into the bath, sinking down and sobbing. Silently. It was probably only two minutes before the others arrived home.

The rest of the summer passed uneventfully. I only ever left my room when I was being force to go and eat. At meals, I ate as little as I could get away with, taking my time over eating to make it seem like I'd eaten more. I then threw it all back up once I'd gotten upstairs. I couldn't help it, I wasn't used to food.

My cast came off just before school. I still had to have this annoying padding 'just for safety' which I 'lost' soon after.

The first day back at school started off as normal. I would get ready, then lie on my back until the others were about to leave. Or I'd lock the door and ignore Isaac as he tried to get me downstairs. One or the other. But today was one of the former.

As I followed the others to school, I tried to figure out why Bern hated my brothers. The only thing that the three of them had in common was the fact that they were all dating guys. Sora and Ven may have looked similar, the only difference was hair colour, but Isaac was almost exactly like Mum, save for his eyes which looked like Bern's but were shaded in by a different light, a more calm tone than Bern's, but sometimes flashed in anger, or love. It was sometimes hard to tell which. But other than that, he looked scarily similar to Mum, only taller. That might explain him, and Ventus is probably because he looks exactly like me, but with some flesh under his skin. But Sora? I had no clue at all.

I sighed and looked up. The silverette had joined up with Sora, and I could see Ven waving to that bluette who I'd yet to even talk to. Isaac was walking along with his backpack slung over one shoulder, something most people thought was cool, a fashion statement, but he just found much easier a position to carry the bag in. He was turning round on occasion, walking backwards, probably in order to make sure I was still behind them and hadn't wandered off.

Form period would have been a drag, but we were forced to go to an assembly. They had one at the start of every year, apparently, and so we were herded into the main hall. And it was just my luck that I ended up next to a certain red-head.

To be honest though, it wasn't coincidence. I'd just sat in a corner, as far away from the stage at the front as I could get. Unfortunately though, Axel managed to find me and brought all of his group with him, Hyper, Bookworm, Camp, Scary, Shy and Quiet. Not that the last two seemed it.

Yeah, I treated them like the seven dwarfs. But I barely knew them.

The assembly was a bore, pack with the usual lies, like 'All the teachers are willing to listen to your problems' and 'We just want you to succeed'. Those were along with the 'Any bullies shall be punished' one.

Thankfully, the assembly was mainly for new students, who were probably quite few, and a reminder for us. This meant that I could ignore most of it. Except for at the end.

"Roxas Tsu! I want a word with you after this assembly." He paused. "Now, everyone else, feel free to go." Everyone else stood up and left. I noticed Axel give me a look that defined longing. I sighed, then noticed that all of my teachers were there. I waited for them to start. "Now, Roxas. Do you have any idea as to why you are here?" My headmaster asked. I looked at him, not doing anything else. Just looking. "I'm waiting for an answer." I still just looked at him. "Fine. I'll tell you. You mother has called in..." I highly doubted that. My mum was dead. "...and has told us about all of the problems you've been having." Again, I highly doubted it. She wasn't certain I was resorting to self harm, if she even thought that, and she wouldn't know anything about Bern. "We know that you are being bullied and that you are not eating. Thus, we have decided, almost unanimously, that you have someone with you." I didn't react.

"Like a guard." Aerith explained. "He's going to follow you and make sure that no body beats you up, as they say." She smiled. "And here he is." I turned to see the person I least wanted it to be.

Axel.

I sighed.

"Axel was the first volunteer for the job, the only other one being your older brother." The headmaster explained. "We figured that this would mean you had someone for you at home as well, and Isaac could have a break."

"So, should we head off to first lesson Roxy?" Axel asked, patting my shoulder. I shrugged it off and started walking.

Spending the day with Axel was a nightmare. I wanted to punch him at least twice a minute. And half the time, I did. Several times when he tried some bad flirting. I didn't realize that he was joking that night until he kissed me. But now, he was being so flirtatious. He seemed ready to pounce on me whenever he could. He even tried to bit my ear at one point, but forgot about my hood. Which I was glad for. This carried on all day, even when I went to the bathroom. He was convinced it was so that we could make out, and seemed disappointed when I locked myself in a cubicle. I didn't actually need the toilet, I just wanted to be on my own.

To have a chance to cry.

Soon it was time for lunch. Axel came in with me. Why didn't they let us not come in. As I grabbed the cup that was all I normally got, he pulled me other.

"Oh no you don't. You are getting something to eat." He handed me a tray, plate and full set of cutlery, then dragged me to a stand covered in cooked foods. There were several of them dotted around, some with sandwiches, salads, pasta and even desserts. Seriously, who eats dessert with lunch?

Apparently everyone.

I took a small amount of salad and headed over to the usual table. Axel was there in under a minute. "Got ya dessert." He said, handing over a bowl with some unidentifiable thing drowned in custard. I sighed and passed it back to him. He looked hurt. "But you can't eat only salad." I sent him by best I-don't-care look, which was just my normal face. He pouted. "Come on Roxy! It's raspberry crumble!" I raise an eyebrow. Did he really think I'd eat that. Or trust him.

The other six arrived soon after that. "Hey Axel. I see you're not trying to get him to talk." Quiet said. Oh no.

"What?" Bookworm asked. I sighed.

"Didn't I tell you? I heard Roxas talk!" I sunk into my seat, hoping the floor would swallow me. Or that the knives were sharp enough to kill.

Wait. When did I become suicidal?

"Really? When?" Hyper asked.

"You know that receptionist job I have?"

"At the psychiatrists Leon works at?" Scary.

"Yeah. Anyway, he came in over the summer, and then he started to panic about something as he was leaving. I heard him say...'No' wasn't it?" She asked me. I shrugged. "He passed out right after that."

"Really? Why?" Axel directed the question at me. I sighed. "Come on! Tell me!" He pleaded. I shook my head. "Tell me and I'll give you a kiss..." He teased. I shook my head. "Come on!" He grabbed my wrists. I tried to pull away, but he grabbed my wristbands, them falling off in the process. I quickly tried to grab them back, but he grabbed my wrists again. "Roxy? What are these?" He'd seen the scars on my wrists. I increased my struggles, managing to get one hand free. I reached for a jug and threw it at Axel. I hit, making him loose his grip on my wrists. I grabbed the wristbands off of him and pulled them on before I fled.

I reached the door before I fainted.

"..long before he wakes up."

"Thank you Paine. Would you mind if I...sorry we wait here?" That sounded like Isaac.

"You can. Just be quiet."

"That should be difficult for him." I had an odd feeling that this other person was Axel.

"Hey!" Definitely Axel. I sat up, opening my eyes. I was on a bed in an empty room. I tried to remember what happened, but couldn't remember anything after entering lunch. I sighed, then stood and looked for the door. I walked through it into a small waiting room. Isaac and Axel were waiting there.

"You're awake. Come on. We've got to get home." Isaac said, getting me away before Axel could say anything. I guess I'd have to do something for him sometime. I tried a smile, but I didn't have any idea as to how to do one. We walked home in silence.

The next day came quickly. Unfortunately. I was constantly being pestered about the scars by Axel and Shy, the others asking whenever they could. They wound me up to no end. And I was constantly trying to escape from them and hide, but I never succeeded. They always managed to track me down.

Lunch was horrible. All seven of them were there, refusing to let me out. Eventually, I got too annoyed at Axel. I picked up one of the water jugs, and was about to throw it at him, when I started to get a headache. I overbalanced, and fell, landing on the table, on thankfully empty dishes. The last thing I noticed before I fell unconscious was that Axel still got soaked.

**Ooh!**

**...The endings of these are becoming cliche. Sorry.**

**Next chapter will be up soon.**


	11. Meddling

**Sorry for the delay. But here it is.**

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><p><em>He moaned, then lay on top of me, trapping me under his body. His hair fell into my eyes. "You're learning." He said. I didn't react. I had done practically nothing for a while. He had broken me.<em>

"Roxas?"

"_You are such a good slave."_

"Roxas?"

"_...Slave."_

"ROXAS!" I jumped at the voice, turning to see Isaac. He sighed in relief. "I'm glad you're awake. Again." Again? What did ha mean by that? "You were having such terrible nightmares, it seems." He paused as he remembered my blank face. "Don't you remember when you got up before? It has to have been around five, six times." He paused, then grabbed my wrist. He pulled down the wristband, revealing the scars. "And you cut then as well." I hardly noticed the scar tissue, done recently by someone sleepy it seemed. It probably was me. I've been cutting for so long that I've started to do it automatically. I pulled the wristband back on.

"Isaac?" I heard Bern say from the door. "It's my turn to watch him."

"Don't worry. He's awake now."

"Did you tell him about the change we've made to his room?" He asked from the other side of the door.

"Not yet." Isaac turned to me. "He's filled the keyhole with that expanding foam thing. The key wont work any more." He said. "It's so you aren't locked in here if you faint." He explained. I just pulled my legs up, waiting for him to leave. He took the hint and left, sighing. After he went, I spent five minutes in that same position, crying silent tears. Then Bern came in.

"So Roxas." He said, walking around the corner of the room, something hidden behind on his far side. "Are you going to cry?" He asked, his voice betraying the rage his face hid. "Are you going to beg for your Mummy?" He asked, mocking me with a bad impression on my voice. Not that he would really have any memory of what my voice sounded like. He had heard me talk once in about a year.

I didn't react. He turned to face me, and I saw what it was. It was a book, and it was huge. I caught a glimpse of the title, 'Advanced Software Testing'. It was very think, and as I realized what was about to happen, I felt suddenly glad it wasn't a hardback. I saw it coming towards me and flinched. I fell back on the bed, feeling a small amount of liquid run from my nose. I left it there until it reached my lips, where I licked at it, figuring from the coppery taste that is was blood.

"You do anything like this again, and I wont be so lenient." He told me before leaving. I sighed, then curled back up on my bed.

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><p>It turned out to be a Sunday when I woke, afternoon at that. So I didn't have to wait long before school. Although by then, I had had enough of my brothers, so I went to school early. This did mean I had and hour long wait before school started, which I spent in the library. I just sat in a corner, oblivious to the rest of the world. Even when the bell went for registration, I didn't react. Nor for the bells for the first two lessons, or for break. I only came out of my own thoughts, which were just set on the remaining fragments of my heart, when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned to see Axel. "You weren't in, but Isaac told me you would probably me here." He explained. "Why you'd be in a library though is beyond me..." He continued. "Anyway, we have Art after break. If we get there now, we might be able to start any work early. And chat with Xion and Naminé." He added. "But if we get neither of those, we can have some fun of our own..." He trailed off, leaving me with a sickening mental image, which soon changed. "Roxas?"<p>

I looked round. No flashback. That was amazing. "Roxas? Art." Axel reminded me. I walked away, leaving him behind as I walked the ridiculously long distance to Art.

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><p>"Right class. Remember that 'one theme per lesson' thing I mentioned last lesson?" Tifa asked from the front of the room. I didn't react while others all nodded or called 'Yes'. Xion looked at me. I realized I'd remembered her name.<p>

"W-we're going to be making one picture each lesson, each with a different theme. Tifa gives us a theme, and maybe decorate the r-room based on it, and we draw or paint it." She explained. I shrugged.

"And so, today's theme is..." She threw off a sheet that covered a board that she used for demonstrations. "...HEARTS!" She could not have picked a more girly subject. Well, save for rainbows. Or unicorns. I picked up a pencil, and started to sketch.

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><p>"And three...two...one...time's up!" Tifa announced. I put down the dark grey crayon I'd been using and flipped my drawing over, not letting anybody see. "Now, bring them up here. We'll see which is the best of these." Tifa said. The girls were more hyper than the boys, an obvious difference I noticed as I took mine up. Most of the others were already up, and I noticed two groups with a startling similarity in the drawings. Whereas some were entirely red and pink love hearts, layered over each other, others were gruesome, and crude, sketches of hearts torn out of people's bodies, lying bloody and being eaten by monsters. I gave mine to Tifa and headed back to my seat, away from the drawings that personified me.<p>

I sat and looked at the board. She'd pinned mine in the middle of the board, and everybody was staring at it. It was a simple drawing. The heart we had to have in it was in the middle, cracked. The jagged black lines curving out of sight behind the heart. At the top left of the heart, was a hammer. It had smashed into the heart, creating a huge, jagged hole. The background was a simple dark grey, with some white gaps which I . "So, which of these do you think deserves the prize?" Tifa asked. Half the people in the room shouted out 'MINE!' as Tifa laughed. "I didn't think that would work. Hmmm..." She looked at each of them in turn. "...I think...this one ids the winner!" She held up mine. "Now, Roxas. Why don't you get your prize?" She held up a small box of chocolate. I didn't move. "Come on Roxas." She said. I stayed in my seat. "All right then. Now, homework!" She announced. Most people in the room groaned. "Don't worry. All it is is another of these!" She called. "The theme is...MIRRORS!" She called, excited, as the bell rang for lunch. "Go when you want. And feel free to come here if you need to work on your drawing." She said, as people started to flood out of the room.

Axel dragged me to lunch. I sighed. He forced me to get a full meal, jacket potato, baked beans and some unidentifiable substance drowned in custard. None of which were things I'd ever eat. I hated them all. When we sat, I just pushed the plate away from me.

"Roxy, you need to eat." He chimed. I shook my head, and so began a trial of endurance, he'd push the tray to me, and I'd force it away. Soon, other people came other. I heard a sigh.

"Axel, you won't get him to eat that." I heard Isaac say.

"Wanna bet?" Axel said.

"He hates those things." Isaac said, bluntly. "He wouldn't even touch them before he went like this."

"Ah." Axel said, embarrassed. I stood and left, getting out of sight before anybody could follow. "Wait Roxy!" I heard behind me as I darted into a classroom.

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><p>I noticed the room was my form room, and walked over to my normal seat, cradling my face in my arms as I rested it on the table. I heard the door open and the loud natter of several girls as they walked in.<p>

"Did you hear about Vanitas?" One asked.

"There's gossip about Vanitas?" Another asked.

"Oh! Please tell us Alice!" A girl with a very English accent begged.

"All right Wendy." Said the first girl, Alice. "...Who's that?" They had obviously noticed me.

"One of the new kids." The second girl answered.

"Roxas Tsu, I think." A fourth said. "If I remember correctly, he's single." She paused as if in thought. "He seems like the strong, silent type. Though I think he's a flaming uke!" She continued.

"No way!" Alice called. "He's perfect for you Kairi!"

"No, it couldn't be true. You must have made some mistake Aqua. He seems more like a dramatic uke." The second, Kairi, argued.

"Are we going to find out about Vanitas or not?" Wendy asked, impatient.

"Oh yeah!" Alice said. "Somebody's managed to tame him!" She squealed.

"WHAT!" Came three shocked replies.

"Yep. The most wild spirit in the school has been tamed. I saw him in the library. Reading. Quietly. When not staring longingly at the person next to him." I could hear the impacts of the other girls' jaws on the floor. Alice giggled. "Yeah, I had the same reaction. But what's even more amazing, that person is a guy!"

"Wait. The school's most notorious bully, is gay?" Aqua asked, surprised.

"Yep! And do you want to know who he was with?" They all nodded. "Isaac Tsu!"

"NO!" They chorused.

"Yep. Two of the most sought after boys in our year are dating each other." There was a brief moment of quiet, then squeals.

"WOW!" Kairi squeaked. "I'm friends with his brother."

"And I'm friends with his other brother." Aqua said, the only one not sounding hyper.

"It seems strange that at least three of those four brothers are gay..." Olette commented.

"Do you think we ought to tell Roxas?" I heard Kairi ask. I sat up, stood, and walked out, determined to have no contact with anybody for the rest of the day.

"Hey! Roxy!" So much for that plan. I sped up. "Wait up Roxy!" Axel caught up with me. "Why didn't you slow down Roxy?" He asked. I ignored him, speeding up instead. He struggled to keep up, despite his freakishly long legs. "Roxy! Turn around and look at me!" I span round suddenly, making him stop in shock.

I clenched my fist and aimed it at his face, managing to know him over. I walked off, leaving behind a dazed, and very confused, redhead.

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><p><strong>I am sorry for the delay! I was focusing on the other three I am working on. But I do have the next two and a half chapters planned out already.<strong>

**Bye!**


	12. Mirror

**Here I am with the next chapter. I'm sorry about the late update. I'll strive to continue this.**

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><p>I hid in a group of trees. The beauty colourful foliage was lost on me. That's right, it was October. And it was Halloween soon too.<p>

Not that I cared.

I sighed and walked on. Within a minute I had passed through the trees. On the other side was a building, built of brick and in ruins. I walked towards it and headed in.

The inside was a ruin. There were lockers on the floor, and missing floorboards. The walls were covered in graffiti, and there were several areas of mold. I walked on.

I came to a classroom, a large place with half-rotted desks spread around. The large window was shattered and there was a huge water stain covering most of one wall. There was a door leading to a smaller room with several shelves. I walked in, and found out what the room was used for. There was a pile of A3 sheets of paper, wrapped in plastic sheets, and several boxes of crayons, the tins having kept the crayons brilliantly. _Well, I might as well do that._ I thought. I took on of the boxes and opened the pack of paper, taking a couple of sheets. I then returned to the previous room and sat at the only whole desk, pulling out a crayon and starting to draw.

I put the crayon down. I finished the drawing I was set in Art. The drawing was my normal, sad. In the middle of the page was a mirror, circular. It was cracked. It the mirror, you could see the fractured reflection of a face. The eyes were a dull blue, and the skin white. The cheeks were sunken and the hair fell flat against his head, as if he had been caught out in the rain. There was also a red line across the face. The background was black. I sighed, then looked outside. The sun was starting to set. I had spent a lot of time on the drawing.

I returned all the things to the storeroom and walked out of the building. Then a thought struck me and I turned, walking back into the building. What did I have to go back to, after all? An unloving father, a step mother who I hated and three annoying brothers. I walked back into the the building and went to the upper floor, looking around until I found a room with tables instead of the desks that were in the others. I lay down on one of the tables and just stared at the ceiling in the uncomfortable position until morning came back round. I sat there until I figured school would be starting, then stood and walked out of the ruined building.

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><p>I emerged from the trees to see two boys lying on the grass nearby, both looking away from me. One, a ravenette, was lying with his head on the other boy's chest. The second boy, blonde, was running his left hand through the spiky, black hair. "So Roxas is still missing?" The ravenette asked.<p>

"Yeah. Abbey's ready to call the police. I warned her you couldn't file a missing person until they'd been gone for forty eight hours, and now she's sitting by the phone, checking the clock about five times a minute."

"Really? Man, she must care for that kid. So what are you doing to help Isaac?" I blinked from surprise. I didn't recognize my brother. Something must be wrong.

"Well, I'm...Roxas?" Isaac had turned, as had the boy on top of him. They stood. "Where were you yesterday?" I shrugged and walked off towards the school. "Roxas! Wait!" I heard, but ignored him.

"Is there anybody he's friends with?" The ravenette asked.

"Not as far as I know Vani." Isaac replied.

"...He sure is antisocial..."

"Yep. Like you used to be. Only more violent."

"I still can be..."

"How can you? You're the uke, after all."

"Shh. Lets not let anybody in on that yet." He told Isaac. "By the way, what are you going to do about Bern?"

"I don't know yet. Just don't tell anybody about it. Especially Roxas. I don't want him to know what's happening..."

"Those cuts and bruises really don't suit you, you know."

"Shh. Don't let anybody hear. I'm only letting you know since it happened when you were at my house once."

"Yeah. Bern really did a number on you then..." I stopped.

"W-w-wha..." I coughed. "What?" I shouted.

"Roxas? Did you just talk?" Isaac asked. I nodded. "And did you hear everything we were saying?" I nodded again. He sighed. "Well, I might as well tell you everything."

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><p>We sat just inside the copse of trees. There was still, apparently, twenty minutes until school started. "Right." Isaac sighed. "I wasn't planning on telling any of you. As you probably heard, Vani here only found out by accident." He sighed again, and 'Vani' rested his hand on his shoulder. "Right. I know that Bern beats you, for a start. I've known for a while now, ever since Mum...you know. Anyway, after the move, Bern started on me. Beating me, that is. He did it last night as well. Here." He lifted up his t-shirt and turned around, revealing a collection of bruises.<p>

I heard 'Vani' wince. "Ow." He said, obviously not having seen these before.

"Yeah. The worst was this one though." He said, turning and lifting his fringe to reveal a scar across his forehead. "It happened just after the move." He told me.

"We have to do something about Bern." 'Vani' said, slamming his fist into his palm.

"But what? We have no proof..." Isaac said.

"What about all of your scars and bruises?"

"They don't prove it was Bern." Isaac answered. "I'll think it over in class. It's nearly time for school to start." We headed off to our form rooms, me somewhat reluctant.

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><p><strong>Sorry for the short chapter. But hey! It's a chapter, isn't it? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. See you soon!<strong>


	13. Maltreat

**Here it is. I hope you like.**

**This chapter is dedicated to baileymermaid95 for her fantastic criticisms. THANK YOU!**

I spent the day moping, not paying attention in any of the lessons. I was pestered by Cloud to join in the lesson, I have to say, he did like practicals, and by Aerith to write some story, at the very least.

_Seems like it's just a normal day._ I thought.

The only thing that did change was that Isaac and 'Vani' hunted me down at lunch, finding me in the library. They discussed plans they had thought up, in the end deciding on one idea. I wasn't really paying attention. The only thing that I did hear was my brother asking me to spend the night wherever I spent the previous night.

_Like he has to ask._

So school soon ended. Instead of going home though, I retraced my steps from the day before, going to the ruined building. I spent the remainder of the afternoon drawing a random scene, a silhouette of a man on a bed, the hilt of a sword showing above the bed, the end of the blade beneath. The rest was a dark grey, making it a little difficult to make out anything.

Afterwards, I lay on the table I had stayed on the night before, not actually sleeping, or even doing anything. It would give me back problems if I kept doing this.

If I lived long enough.

After all, the memories were getting harder to bear.

_I may just do it. _I thought.

I lay there for the rest of the night. Not doing anything, just lying there. I started to feel a need to cut, but knew I couldn't. I tried to make do with the hard table, the bare wood rubbing against my spine. I winced, but it still didn't help. I knew I had to get a knife soon.

I waited for Isaac and 'Vani' in the same place. I was sat there for half an hour before they arrived. Isaac had his finger wrapped in a bandage, as well as a black eye.

"...first visible marks." Was all I heard as they drifted into earshot.

"Look, Roxas is there." 'Vani' said, pointing at me.

"Ah, Roxas. I got the proof we need." Isaac said, holding a DVD case. I looked at him in a way that could have passed for bemusement. "I taped him, beating me." He explained. "Now, I just need you to spend one night at home." He told me. I shook my head. He sighed. "It's the only way that we can deal with him." He told me. I paused, thinking, then nodded. If it got me away from Bern, I think I could last one night.

I walked home with my brothers and their boyfriends, surprising them. Axel, unfortunately, also tagged along, talking to me. I sighed. I was starting to regret coming. If I'd stayed in my ruin, I could have lived in peace until I died.

Which probably wouldn't be that long.

"..so then I entered..." Axel continued some story I wasn't really paying attention to.

"We're here." Isaac called from beside 'Vani', slightly in front of us.

"Right!" Axel replied, turning into the drive. I followed the others, entering the building that was meant to be my home.

But home is where the heart is, and that ruin near school is more of a home to me than this place.

I went straight to my room, Axel thankfully being distracted by the others, as I went into the connecting bathroom, locking the door.

I pulled the knife out from behind the tile, sitting on the toilet seat as I pulled up my wristbands, exposing the torn flesh. I took the knife, and started to slice the flesh, letting the blood dribble out onto the floor. I then swapped hands, cutting the other wrist as well. I barely felt the pain, being so used to it by now.

I sighed. Cutting seemed to stop doing anything for me. I sighed, and taking off my jacket and t-shirt, putting the knife to my shoulder, where the scar from my earlier cut was, and plunged my knife in, wincing at the deep cut. More blood flowed out, running down my arm to my fingers, dripping on to the floor.

The blood loss made me feel dizzy, but I was used to it. I took a strip of toilet paper and wrapped it around my shoulder, stopping the blood flow. I sighed again, due to the need for a bandage this time.

_I hate my life._

I sighed, pulling my t-shirt back on. I walked back into my bedroom and flopped down on my bed. I lay there, face buried in my pillow, for at least an hour. Then, Isaac walked in.

"Hi." He said. I turned over. "We're all going out. All of us but Bern." He told me. "Sorry, but I think this is when, you know..." He told me, looking down. "Sorry." He continued. "It's just, this will help." I nodded, then turned back over. I heard him walk out, then the others calling goodbye before the front door opened and closed again. I sighed, waiting for Bern to arrive.

Ten minutes later, I was still waiting. _Where is he?_

I wasn't in a hurry to be beaten, it's just that I was growing anxious.

I turned onto my back, looking around the room. I gasped at what I saw, before being backhanded by Bern, rolling me back onto my back. As I rolled, I glimpsed the camera and hoped that it was filming. Bern walked down to the end of the bed.

"So, Roxas." He said. "Feel like talking now?" He asked, mockingly, as he grabbed one of my legs. When he twisted it, I screamed out in pain as the various scars on my legs stretched, some feeling like they'd been torn open. "Now?" He asked again, twisting further. I cried out louder.

"How about now?" He asked before slamming his arm down into my knee, causing me to scream even louder. I heard something snap before he let it fall, hitting the bed at an unnatural angle, causing more pain to rush up my leg. Tears formed in my eyes.

_Why?_ I thought.

Bern answered the unspoken question. "You are a pathetic waste of space and money who will never do anything good in life. You are lazy and will never have anyone who loves you." He shouted, angry.

_I wonder if the video has audio as well..._ I wondered, the only coherent though I could now think of in the haze of pain that had clouded my mind. My head felt light, and I soon felt my conciousmess quickly fading away.

**Sorry about the delay people! I hope you enjoyed. Please note, I do like criticism, and will listen to any advice you give me.**

**Bye!**


	14. Martial

**FINALLY! I've got time to do this. Sorry for the month-and-a-half wait. Exams are evil. I'm not going to bore you any more. Hope you like!**

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><p>"...akes up?"<p>

"Frankly, it's hard to say. He's lost a lot of blood, and a broken leg is nothing to shake a stick at anyway..." The voice was a little familiar. "Add to that the fact that he doesn't seem to have eaten anything since the last time he came here..."

"What do you mean? He has been eating!" I winced from the volume of Abbey's voice.

"Look. He's awake." I managed to force my eyes open, finding myself in a familiar private ward. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?" I shook my head. "When was the last time you had a proper meal?" She asked.

_When was the last time I had a proper meal?_

"Was it a week ago A month? Three months? Six months? A year?" She paused between each sentence. "Over a year?" I thought, then held up seven fingers. I felt like shocking them. "SEVEN YEARS AGO!" The nurse, or maybe doctor, was shocked, but that was the last meal I could remember eating.

_Back before..._ I shuddered.

"Cold, sweety?" Abbey asked.

_Since when was I sweety?_

"Sorry, but could I talk to Roxas in private? It'll only be a minute."

_And since when was Isaac in here?_

"Sure!" Abbey chimed. She left along with the doctor/nurse.

"Sorry about putting you through that." He looked towards my leg and winced. "I didn't know that would happen..." He sighed. I looked at my leg, noticing with a hint of surprise that it was in a cast, suspended above the rest of my body.

_That's not too bad._

"Anyway, the DVD's ready. I'm sending it off through Xion." I raised an eyebrow. "Xion's mother is a lawyer." The eyebrow stayed up. "Short black hair, eyes like Sora's, a bit of a tomboy. Hangs around with you in school."

_Oh, her._

"I'm going to to sort all of this out while you recover." He said. "Bye."

* * *

><p>As it turned out, I was home just before the trial. My leg was still broken, but it was mending, with the help of protein tablets I was being forced to take.<p>

Bern had moved into a flat near the court for the duration of the trail. I was grateful for that. I could live in peace.

_I wonder if I could kill myself with those tablets..._

"Ready?" Isaac asked as we prepared to go. I made a small movement with my head, which he took as a yes. He walked to the car, pushing me in my wheelchair in front of him. I could have done it by myself, but he didn't think so.

Abbey fussed over us for most of the journey. "You boys give it you all!" She cheered. I could see in her eyes, however, that she was emotionally torn. I could tell she loved Bern, and that no matter what happened, she'd end up crying.

* * *

><p>"Bern Tsu. Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"<p>

"Yes."

The judge wasted no time, going straight to business the instant everyone had sat down. "You stand here accused of severe child abuse. Do you deny the claim?"

"Yes."

"Then tell us what you think happened to Roxas."

"Simple. He fell down the stairs."

"Roxas, did you?" I shook my head.

"That boy lies!" Bern declared, pointing at me. The was a knife in his hand.

I looked away and saw the last thing I expected.

"Mum..."

Bern was looming over her, the knife in his hand, dripping blood.

"Why Bern, why?"

"Roxas! Roxas!" I blinked. I was on the floor of the courtroom. "You had a panic attack." Isaac stated., pulling me into a sitting position, then into my wheelchair. "Roxas, you were calling out for Mum..." Sora started. "Then you asked Bern 'why?'."

"Was...was it Bern who..." Ventus gulped, unable to continue. I nodded, slowly, and I think everyone in the room gasped.

"Now it's serious." The judge commented. "Roxas, do you know where the weapon is?"

"P-Pond" My voice was very scratchy.

"Your old home? The pond?" I nodded. "We'll continue this trial now. We'll also look for this knife." I nodded. Now, lets get to the trial." She smiled. We all returned to our seats.

As I was wheeled back to my place, I looked at Bern.

His eyes bored into me, displeasing...


	15. Mauris

**Ah, two updates in a week. Sorry this chapter is so short.**

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><p>"Well done boys!"<p>

"Roxas, are you ok?"

I nodded, but in reality my head had felt like a pneumatic drill was being pressed into it ever since Bern had glared at me.

"You sure don't look it..."Ventus remarked.

"I'm sure he's fine." Isaac said, giving me a look that said _we are going to talk about this'._

_Maybe._ I thought.

* * *

><p>"So tell me, what happened?"<p>

I glared.

"Tell me Roxas."

I carried on glaring.

"Could you at least write it?" He asked, passing me a pen and some paper.

_He prepared for this..._ 'He glared at me'. I wrote.

"Wh...oh." He paused. "When did he start?"

I shrugged. 'Six, seven years ago'.

"That long?" Isaac sat down next to me. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

'Mum didn't want to risk getting you three hurt'.

"How long w..."

'Longer'.

"Oh..." I looked and saw tears in his eyes, but he was refusing to let them fall. "And this?" He pointed at my wrist.

I underlined the first word.

"Ah. I couldn't figure that out."

'Idiot'. I didn't show him that. After all, how would he know it was someone else?

"What happened to you then?" He asked.

'R'. I refused to even write it.

"R... what does that mean... R's not one of the letters in your code..." He thought it over for a minute, before shaking his head. "Anyway, what do you think about Axel?" I raised an eyebrow. "Did you know he was held back three years? Once in preschool!" He chuckled and my lips twitched. "Hey, was that a smile?" I glared at him darkly. "I guess not..." We sat in silence for a while. "So, what do you think of Axel?"

'Annoying'.

"Are you sure?"

'Yes'.

"Really?"

I underlined 'yes' several times. He chuckled.

"Did you know he likes you?"

I circled 'yes'.

"Right." He paused, then checked his watch. "Sorry, Vani's about to arrive. I've got to go." He walked to the door, but stopped."I know you don't like Abbey, but could you please just try to give her a chance? You don't have to forget Mum to accept her." He opened the door, and left.

I looked at the paper in my hands. I frowned at the words I couldn't remember writing. I didn't know why I wrote them.

'Lucky'.

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><p><strong>And, there we go. Two chapters, if short ones, in two days. All right, I hope you enjoyed.<strong>

**Bye!**


	16. Mother

**Sorry I'm taking so long with updates. School is leeching away at my life.**

* * *

><p>I fingered the locket, the small silver shell normally hanging around my neck now in my hands as I looked at the slightly reflective metal, tears occasionally falling from my eyes.<p>

Flashback

_My mum handed me a small, black box, just before my fifth birthday._

"_I've always loved your smile." She said, herself smiling. "So promise me you wont ever stop."_

_I smiled, looking up into her eyes. "I wont Mummy!" I opened the box, and took the locket in my hand. Mum out it around my neck, then held up the decoration on it, a smallish, silver case, oval with a heart engraved on it._

"_Watch this." She said, pressing a tiny button, making the face of the oval spring open on hidden hinges. I looked inside to see her face and a small mirror. "So you don't forget me..." She said, pointing at the picture of her. "And so you don't forget your promise." She said as I gazed in the mirrored side._

"_I will never forget you Mummy." I told her, a huge grin plastered on my face, my eyes twinkling with happiness._

"_Thank you. Now, come on down. You can help me make your cake!"_

"_Yay! Cake!" She chuckled._

End Flashback

I sighed. _Sorry, Mum. I couldn't keep that promise._ I shook my head.

I hung the locket back around my neck, then picked up the knife lying in the covers in front of me. I brought the knife up to my neck...

* * *

><p>I bolted upright, falling onto the floor in the process, gasping for breath.<p>

_Did... did I just..._

_Did I just dream about killing myself?_

I looked around the room, not seeing anything I recognized.

_Oh, right._

I had been moved to the orphanage just after the trial. And my leg was healed. Just me. They never told me why. But it was just me.

There was a knock.

_And Isaac._

My older brother walked in. "I thought I heard you." I held out a hand to help me stand, but I managed to climb to my feet on my own. "You have to come outside at some point, you know."

I stayed silent, sitting on my bed.

"Roxas, at least talk at some point. Bern's gone to prison and you don't have to live with Abbey. Why are you still so upset?"

I shrugged.

"Could you at least show some emotion?"

I shook my head.

_My biggest problem is still out there... Somewhere..._

I lay back down on my bed, face down.

"You are going to come out of here tomorrow." He said as he left, closing the door as I pretended to listen.

* * *

><p>It came to quickly. That is, finding out that I now shared a house with three super nuisances. Axel, Demyx and Marluxia.<p>

_Huh, looks like I can remember their names._

I was introduced to the other people in the orphanage, the man running it, the cook and the cleaner, then asked to say a little about myself.

I remained silent.

"Roxas, wont you say something?" The man running the place, Vincent, asked.

I shook my head.

He sighed.

"There are rules here." He said. "One, you must be back here by sunset, unless you have permission. Two, you have to be present for every meal and all of the nightly activities, except in special circumstances. And three, no violence whatsoever. That's why we took that knife from you."

_You didn't find my second one though..._ I thought.

"Now, we have a games night every Monday, Thursday and Saturday, in here, from half past six until nine." He looked at me. "Do you remember all of that?" I nodded, not having paid attention to what he had said. "Good. Now, it's breakfast." We were shepherded through to the dining room, which had several tables of four instead of the lone, large one I expected.

We were left to choose our own meal, and I took toast, which I ate with nothing on, and water.

Once I had eaten and gotten rid Axel, I hid in my room, happy... ish that there was a lock. And a key.

I lay on the bed and pulled my second knife, not the one that had been behind the tile, out from underneath the mattress. I stared at the dull silver blade, seeing my reflection in the metal. The ugly red scar. The pasty skin. The sunken cheeks.

_I look like a ghost._

I slid it back underneath the mattress, instead pulling the locket out from underneath my jacket. I popped it open and looked at the photo, covering the mirror with my thumb.

_I'm sorry Mum. I broke my promise to you. I stopped smiling..._

"Roxas?" An annoying voice called. Axel.

_Has he managed to replace Abbey?_ I asked myself.

"Come on out Roxy! It's a wonderful day out here!"

I threw the pillow at the door.

"Or maybe you want to spend the day in here... with me..." The last words sent a shiver up my spine. "Roxy..." He cooed.

The door handle rattled, then stopped.

"Roxy?"

_Locks win again._ I thought, entirely without humour.

I heard a sigh, then heavy footsteps heading away from the door.

Flashback

"_Good boy..." He purred as he lay on top of me, his mouth by my neck._

_I tried to get him off of me._

_SLAP!_

_My head was flung sideways and I could feel a loose tooth._

"_Bad boy..." He growled._

End Flashback

I scrabbled for the knife under the mattress, grasping it by the blade and feeling it stab into my hand. I pulled it out and rolled up my sleeve, lining up the blade with the shoulder, one of the few parts of my body devoid of scars.

The knife cut into the skin, drawing blood instantly. The pain was great, but it clouded the pain I held emotionally.

A tear fell from my eye. Then another. And another.

The blood trickled down my arm. I pulled the knife out of my shoulder, flexing it once the pain started to fade. I gritted my teeth and lay down on my bed, burying my face in the pillow.

_Please... Please let me die..._ I thought, blood and tears mixing as they fell on the sheets.

* * *

><p><strong>Ooh... foreshadowing. I hope that you liked this chapter, and were confused by the first part. That was the intent.<strong>

**Anyway, this chapter was not filler. This is called character development.**

**Well, goodbye for now!**


	17. Mistral

**Here I am, with another chapter of Memories in Blood.**

**Obviously.**

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes, the white pillow taking up so much of my view it was almost black. I sat up and looked at the sheets. They were dark red, the blood having dried. I put a hand to my shoulder, feeling the narrow scab. I frowned.<p>

_They're going to find out._

I hid the knife in the best place I could think of, the back of the wardrobe.

I then tore the cover off of the duvet, rolling up the bloodied sheets before throwing them to the opposite corner and knocking myself over in the process. I then did the same with my t-shirt, managing to not end up on my back this time.

I then pulled on another t-shirt, feeling the fabric run over my ribs, and then dumped the sheets and t-shirt in the wardrobe, along with my knife.

_Well, that should hide it._ I thought as I lay on my bed,

"Roxas? Ven is here." I heard Isaac say through the door.

_He thinks that I care?_

"He want's to talk to you." He said. I sighed. The door handle turned, and the rectangle of wood slowly opened.

_When did I unlock the door?_ I asked myself.

Isaac walked in, tossing the key onto a small table.

_Where did he get that from?_

"Axel's not the only one who can get through locked doors." He said, rather cryptically.

_Whatever._

"Ven. Door's open." He called.

"Thanks." My twin walked through the door. "Roxas..." He said. I could see tears in his eyes. He looked at Isaac. "Could you go please?" Isaac nodded, as if expecting the question, then left.

As soon as he did, I found myself in Ven's arms. "Roxas..." I felt tears on my shoulder. "We've missed you at home..." He said. "You may never show, but still..." He paused. "You're my twin brother. You're practically Sora's. And Abbey, well, I think she always liked you most out of all of us." He paused again, and let go of me. "Roxas, even though you shunned us, we never stopped loving you. Everything we did, we did to help you..."

_Yeah right. Like you were much help anyway._

"Roxas, please. Just... let us in. And if not the others, then me. Please. We were so close. Surely you can trust me..." He lay back on the bed. "While I'll never be Mum, I am still going to try to help you." He whispered, patting my arm.

_You never will be..._

"Oh, yes. I've been meaning to give you this for a while." He handed me a fairly tatty piece of paper. I unfolded it.

_Past – You have suffered a lot of torment, even coming close to death. The torment has lasted a long time, and you have even felt suicidal. However, the Strength card shows that you have broken through those thoughts, whether with help or not. However, it could also represent some anchor, something or someone that kept you from going over the edge._

_Present – There are clear signs of your personality, the Justice card suggests coldness. There are also signs that these are difficult times for you, a fact demonstrated by the Tower._

_Future – There are signs of a new beginning for you at some point. However, what these things are is uncertain. The Star and Death cards contradict each other. While one suggests a future of romance, the other suggests an end to you. However, it could also mean that a new romance will be the end of you._

_Overall, this is very very troubling. I'm sorry, Roxas. You're life has been such horror._

I looked at Ventus, bemused.

"That's from when she read our fortunes. They can be surprisingly accurate..." He looked deep in thought.

_Yeah, right._

"So, will you say something?" He asked. I frowned, and shook my head. "Fine." He shook my head.

_And now it's back to normal..._

"If you talked, we could help you with your problem." He said, then paused. "Oh, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the Headmaster wants to see you in school tomorrow." He told me. "As early as possible. Isaac knows as well." He added. "Well, see you." He said as he walked out of the room.

_If you really meant what you had said, you'd have stayed for longer..._

I cried as I lay back on my bed.

* * *

><p><strong>Short chapter, but hey. Would you prefer no chapter?<strong>

**See you!**


	18. Mutilated

**Sorry for the delay. I've got too much going on at once.**

**Sorry again.**

* * *

><p>I sat up in bed, legs curled up to my chest as I stared at my knees as the moonlight poured through the thin light of the curtains, illuminating the room in a pale light.<p>

_That was almost poetic..._

I sighed as I gazed around the room. The wardrobe with my bloodied sheets, my knife currently in front of me as I sat there, the chest of draws, the bookshelf that was practically empty and the bedside table. I sighed, then shifted my legs so that I was looking at the knife.

I sighed, just staring at the stained knife.

Corrupted.

Broken...

The blade had snapped in two at some point. Somehow. Something must have weakened it, then when I dropped it in the wardrobe, it must have snapped.

_Now it's like me..._ I thought, reaching out to stroke the tip of the knife, picking it up and clutching the metal of the blade, pressing the very tip against against my wrist and drawing a line, blood slowly starting to drip from them. _I think I may not have all that much left in me..._

I sighed, wondering if it would be safe to cut again.

_I want to die..._ I thought, tears forming now as I tightened my grip on the knife fragment harder, the blade digging into my hand and drawing more blood.

_Why can't I...? _I cried. I moved my hands so that the knife was over my heart, but stopped, shaking, and lowered it, tears falling ever faster as the sheer lack of blood caused me to slowly loose consciousness.

* * *

><p>I woke to an loud and repetitive banging. "Roxas! Roxas!" Vincent, I guess. <em>He seems a bit like Aerith...<em> "Breakfast!" He cried. I sighed, looking at the sheets that were stained, fresh when we were sent to bed.

I saw the knife in my hand, dried blood covering it, the palm and my fingers. I sighed, wondering if I had any blood left in my veins at all. I sighed as I held my wrist, feeling a faint pulse still there.

_So I'm not dead yet..._ I thought, standing up and walking...

...the the middle of the room. I'd forgotten. There was no way for me to clean myself up to prevent suspicion. I don't want someone to find and take away my best chance...

_My best chance at death..._ I knocked on the door.

"Downstairs in ten minutes, or else." I heard Vincent threaten before he walked away. I unlocked and opened the door, checking to see if there was anyone in the corridor.

There were ten steps to the door of the bathroom.

And I was still caught.

"Roxas?" I turned to see Isaac, a shocked expression on his face.

I didn't have to wonder why. The blood was enough for anyone.

"You're still doing it?" He asked me. I nodded, staring dead ahead with blank eyes before entering the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I looked in the mirror above the sink. My cheeks had shrunk into my skull, the skin tight around my face, eyes wide and bloodshot, so dull they looked grey. My skin was so pale I looked like a ghost. It was flecked with blood and soaked with tears.

I turned on the tap and started to wash away the blood.

* * *

><p>"Right, so you're still..." He hesitated, and I needed, pointing to one of the pieces of knife, the hilt, which still had part of the blade attached. I had hidden the other part, the tip, as soon as I could. The knife may have broken, but it still could be used. I had also hidden the sheets, once again in the cupboard. He sighed. "Why do you keep on doing this Roxas? If you keep on doing this, you're going to die." I shrugged. <em>Doesn't bother me. If I wasn't so scared...<em>

I shook my head, then picked up the knife fragment, fiddling with it. Isaac grabbed it off me, putting it on the bedside table. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall, letting him know that I was going to ignore him. After a few failed attempts, he sighed and left, taking the hilt of the knife with him. I sighed, lying down on my bed as I waited for this boring day to pass.

* * *

><p>I stood and changed clothes, from black and dark red to black. I stretched, more out of need than want, then pulled my jacket on, pulling the hood up. My face was instantly hidden. I then grabbed my bag, almost too heavy for me despite the small number of things in it. I did notice a letter falling from the top of it though. I paused, then put it in my pocket, deciding to read it when I was waiting to see the headmaster. I opened the door, then closed it again, thinking of something. I picked something up, hid it on me, then left, locking the door behind me.<p>

I left the orphanage before anyone else woke, then proceeded to make my way to school.

* * *

><p><strong>All will be revealed soon...<strong>

**Maybe.**

**Anyway, I'll see you soon!**


	19. Memories

**Here we go...**

* * *

><p>I arrived at school early, and was the first into school. I wandered through corridors, looking for the office.<p>

When I found the door, I knocked, a habit from before...

I looked down, waiting for the door to open.

"Roxas." The receptionist said, still holding her staff. "Wait here, the headmaster will be here soon."

I took a seat in the small waiting room, tucked in the corner where I was all but invisible.

Five minutes passed without anything happening, so I decided to read the letter Isaac probably left me. I pulled the envelope out of my pocket, opening the seal and pulling out a single sheet of folded paper, stained slightly with tears. I unfolded it, then began to read.

_Roxas,_

_I don't know if you'll read this, but I hope that you are. This letter may just end up saving your life._

_I have figured it out. You were raped, weren't you? That's the only reason I can think of for that to happen..._

_But I have figured out more. I don't know why I didn't realize this sooner. There are rumors about him, that he's a pedophile, a homosexual pedophile..._

_But I never pay much attention to rumor, and that was always going to stab me in the back. I was just hoping that it would affect me and not you, or anyone else. But it was bound to happen..._

_Anyway, I know who it was. And I know where he is. And I know that he wants you. Why else would he do all of the things that he did, visiting you in hospital, befriending Bern, even staying in the security room, looking at the CCTV camera displays?_

_Now Roxas, whatever you do, you must not go to school, don't go anywhere. I know he'll find you..._

_But the headmaster... _

"Hello Roxas."

_...he is Xemnas._

I looked up, to see the face of my nightmares. The reason for the bad things of my life.

Silver hair.

Amber eyes.

And that evil smile...

"Come this way." He said. "Or else..." He whispered threateningly. My hand went to my waistband, then my pocket as he led me off.

* * *

><p>He took me to his car.<p>

He forced me in.

He climbed in.

He locked the doors.

I heard someone call me name.

The car started.

The car stopped.

He pulled me through a door.

He dragged me down to the cellar.

He handcuffed me to a pipe by my legs.

I cried.

* * *

><p>My eyes opened.<p>

I heard banging.

He climbed off me.

He went upstairs.

He dragged someone down.

"Axel and Isaac, come to save Roxas." He chuckled.

"Get off me!" Axel yelled.

I didn't hear Isaac.

Axel fell to the ground next to me.

My hand went to my waist.

Xemnas leaned over Axel.

Blade in hand.

Through his heart.

* * *

><p><strong>I'll leave you wondering.<strong>

**Oh, and that was me practising a new way of writing. Please tell me what you think.  
><strong>


	20. New Beginning

**Sorry for the cliffie.**

* * *

><p>I woke in a hospital bed.<p>

The sheets were white.

Something was in my arm, injecting a liquid.

I wasn't restrained.

I looked around, and was amazed by how many people were there.

On my left were my brothers and their boyfriends.

On my right were Abbey, Vincent, the nurse, Naminé, Xion and, oddly, Aerith and Leon.

At the foot of the bed, next to Xion, was a woman similar to her in looks, but older and taller, and oddly familiar.

And in the chair opposite, leg in a cast, was... someone. All I could see behind the woman and Xion was the leg.

My heart leapt.

"You're awake!" Abbey exclaimed.

_I have never met anyone who stated the obvious more than her._

"You're really awake!"

_Well, maybe Sora._ I chuckled, a dry sound.

There were gasps.

"You're smiling..." Isaac said.

"All right, who are you and what have you done with Roxas?" Ventus asked suddenly, causing laughter all round. I chuckled again.

"I'm guessing that you want to know what happened." Vincent asked in his monotone.

"Why don't we get the boring thing out of the way first?" Aerith suggested. Vincent nodded. "You're going to have to be assigned a tutor to help you make up for all the work you missed, and I hope you're going to be ready to work. And also, we found the building in the woods, as well as the drawings you did. Tifa claimed they were yours because, to quote, 'he has such a different way of drawing, the shading and dark colours, the tiny details, all done with a unique flourish that is slightly reminiscent of the greats'. And I have to say, your drawings are brilliant, if a little disturbing." She looked around. "I'm done." She said.

I nodded. I was expecting that last comment about my art.

"I guess it's my turn..." Isaac rubbed his head. "When we, me and Axel, arrived at school, you were just being forced in the car. I called you, but that didn't work. Then I called the first person I could think of who could drive." Isaac told me.

"That was me." Abbey said. "I drove the two of them to Xemnas', where they got in and started to look for you."

_She did that for me? I didn't realize she'd ever be so caring towards me._

"He managed to knock me out. I got a minor concussion, nothing serious, and before I blacked out, I saw him grab Axel and start dragging him somewhere, I didn't see where." Isaac continued.

_I can fill in the rest._ I thought, hoping a shake of the head would convey that thought.

"So, do you want to know what exactly is going to happen to you?" The woman asked. I nodded. "Well, Xemnas isn't going anywhere, that's for sure. He's not coming back any time soon. Isaac, as I explained before, would have gotten a much smaller punishment for breaking and entering, as would have Axel, for obvious reasons. However, that was excused due to the fact that they did it out of necessity, to save a life." She turned to Isaac. "Next time, call the police." She instructed.

"Yes Mrs. Replica." He answered. He had this subtle undertone in his voice when he'd answered the same question several times, a cross between annoyance and boredom. She didn't seem to notice it though.

"Now, Roxas. You would be accused of murder." I blinked, waiting for her to continue. "However..." _That's more like it._ "...we can write it off as defensive manslaughter." I raised an eyebrow. "Manslaughter is the accidental killing of someone, and can be put off as being better, and we can say it's defensive as you were protecting someone else, Axel." She paused, as if listening to someone, then moved aside, as did Xion.

"Hello Roxie." I glared at him for using the nickname, but I couldn't hide my happiness. My joy. My love.

And I couldn't remember ever feeling something like that.

Just being trapped in that pit of despair, so deep it was like I was at the centre of the Earth.

I had fallen in it eight years ago.

I had dug deeper when Mum died.

The light from the top was my locket, that memory of her, the land above a world of happiness, and joy.

But slowly, without me even realizing, I had started to slowly climb out.

There were always hands to help me get out.

But now I'd accept them.

Now I knew I wanted to leave.

And I knew I couldn't do it alone.

And I realized one last thing.

There was one hand.

One hand I knew was going to be the first I'd take.

The hand that would help me most.

The hand I'd shied away from, from it's soothing strokes, it's gentle touches.

And the hand reached out to me.

And it hugged me.

And I hugged back.

"I love you Roxas." The hand whispered.

My voice was dry and barely more than a whisper. It hurt to talk, but there were five words I had to say, six syllables, fifteen letters, which would forever change my life...

For the better...

"I love you too... Axel..."

_This is a fresh start Roxas, a new beginning._

And, for the first time in eight years, I smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>And there. Finished. Sorry to all of you who were expecting this to be longer, I though it would be too.<strong>

**And if you don't get the slight symbolism in the chapter names, then PM me, and I'll explain.  
><strong>

**Anyway, I would like to thank the twenty six people who Favorited and the twenty who alerted Alerted, but especially _Alphafangdemon_, _Baileymermaid95_, _Broken Locket_,_ Candy3314_, deathangel95, _Ghost of the moonlight_, _miskris97_, _mystery_, _x-Trisana-Skystorm-x_, _Uqluiorra12345_ and _Will Cosplay For Food_ for being the only reviewers.**

**Now, some personalized thanks:**

**Baileymermaid95: Thank you for you lengthy PM review. Your suggestions really made the story much better, and really helped me with Roxas' development.**

**Broken Locket: While you may not have been the most frequent reviewer, you have supported my work for a long time now. Most of the time I've been on here in fact...**

**miskris97: You come joint first with most reviews with six. From chapter six to seventeen, you struggled through this Angst-ridden mess of a fic. I thank you for your dedication.**

**mystery: My only anonymous reviewer, though I may or may not have a few ideas as to who you may be... Anyway, if you aren't one of those people, then I'm sorry that you haven't got an account. **

**Uqluiorra12345: The other top reviewer, also with six. I thank you, you've been reviewing since chapter six, the third individual Reviewer and the one who stuck around the longest. I thank you for your dedication.**

**And thank you, to everyone reading now. Whether you only started recently, or have been constantly checking this story through to the end, not quite liking enough to reach your Alerts or Favourites, but good enough to keep an eye on, I don't mind. But really, thank you.**

**And one last thing, I'd like to thank KeedaxEmry for being the inspiration for this with his much less Angsty fic, Falling Away. Read it. Seriously.**

**Well, see you next time!**

**P.S. Sorry for replying to so few reviews. I always end up forgetting.**

**P.P.S. So, you know, my next Angst fic is a RokuSo, featuring mind reading, unbearable knowledge, and a secret that is tearing him apart from the inside.**

**P.P.P.S. This is the last one. I may just be encouraged to do an epilogue. It depends.**

**P.P.P.P.S. I had to. Sorry.**


	21. Epilogue

**After a long while, here is the epilogue. I hope you don't mind the wait, and also think that it makes up for the slightly (more than that, really) anti-climatic last chapter.**

**It's been a while since I wrote anything for this... I hope I haven't lost my touch...**

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><p><em>Dear Mum,<em>

_I'm sorry I haven't written to you recently, but my life has had too much going on at the moment. I figured that I would take this time to tell you how we're all doing. I'm sure that you would like to know. And I know that we all miss you..._

_As cliche as it sounds, we were all happy. Although there were a couple of twists. Especially with Isaac and Vanitas, particularly when when we met the ravenette's parents. That one was a little bit embarrassing... for them anyway. Especially Vanitas._

_My other two brothers also got on well with their boyfriends. While Terra and Ven did have a short break up at one point, when the latter realised the imminence of University, but they were back together sooner than most people actually expected._

_Riku and Sora went through a similar thing the next year._

_Abbey did come to visit us. Very often. Whenever she had free time, really. Me and Isaac were probably envied by some of the other kids, but Abbey quickly became friends with a lot of the people there._

_Really, everything was good._

_Well, there were some more negative things._

_Like my cutting. _

_It had been going on for several years, and had become second nature. Both Axel and Vincent had to remove a fair few knives from my room over the first year alone._

_I did pull myself off of it eventually._

_I also put on weight, somewhat. While my lack of nourishment did somewhat stunt my growth (leading to some jokes on Axel's part), I did still manage to put on weight. _

_And I'm sure that you're wondering about the verdict of the second court case. I never told you that, despite how long it's been. It turns out that my 'defensive manslaughter' was deemed to minor an incident for anything but a small fine, which Abbey paid instantly. As for Axel and Isaac, they didn't even get a fine._

_But I've told you all of this._

_What I have never told you is how I got on with Axel..._

"Roxie, come to bed..." he red-head moaned tiredly, lying on his side with the covers low enough to show a good section of his chest.

"Just a minute." I sighed.

_We started dating once I got out of the hospital, as I've told you before. At first, it was a little awkward. I was still using my silent facade. But Axel chipped and chipped away at it, until it finally broke. And I've never been more glad of anything._

"What are you writing?" He asked from next to me.

"A letter."

"To who?"

"My mother..."

"Oh..."

_After that, we got along like a house on fire._

Axel chuckled.

_We dated throughout the rest of our school life, then kept on talking over the internet when we parted ways for University. I was worried that he would fall in love with someone else, but I shouldn't have. Because a soon as we finished, he asked me._

_He asked me to marry him._

I typed a little more, then stood. "Come on then." I smiled, following him to our shared bed. We lay down, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to his heart.

"Good night Roxie..."

"Good night... Axel..."

As I drifted off, I thought about those last few lines. The last bit that I wrote...

_And I said yes. I said it with the smile that you loved when I was young, the smile I promised you I would never loose._

_And now, I know how nice it is to share a bed with someone you truly love..._

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><p><strong>Well, I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to get round to writing this, but I hope you enjoyed. <em>Memories in Blood<em> is now truly over. I thank everyone who read it, and I really hope that you will enjoy my next angst fic, now with a working title: _Windows To The Soul_.**

**Much better than the previous one, I have to say. Anyway, I hope that you liked this story, and I hope to see you again for more of my Fanfictions in the near future!**


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